Anyone else remember Ultraman? God I used to love that show! I even have an Ultraman doll somewhere...
Date number 2=good
He's a great cook! Not that I mind cooking because I do love it, but it's nice to be cooked for once in a while. And he baked bread.... what a doll he is...
Tonight I had to play catch up with homework and start a paper that is due Friday..... no fun....
So, here is the dilema I have been seriously toiling with the past week or so... in the process of adopting and the birth mother is due at the end of this month. In theory it is great. Then my niece was born and the reality of it hit.... I have no doubt I would be a great mom some day but now I am questioning if now is the right time. Who am I to think I can parent a child? Granted, I have my shit together and what not... but I still have issues that I am afraid I would unknowingly burden her with. I guess all parents do. I'm just not sure I'm ready (even though everyone keeps saying you never are truly ready). I've even found myself praying to a god I do not believe in that this adoption also falls through so I don't have to make any sort of decision. Fear talking? Definitely. Selfishness? Probably. Emotional self-preservation in case this one also falls through? Possibly. So, I am, as always, waiting for some serendipitous sign to point me in the right direction... In the end, everything happens for a reason and who am I to fuck with fate?
Alright, dilema discussion over... time to play catch up again...
Kisses!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I am happy date 2 went. It is nice to be cooked for, I love to cook too, but being cooked for is great.
No one is ever "ready" to be a parent. Ever. Anybody who says different is selling their book. Kids stir your shit up, they stir up the shit from your own childhood. They stir up the shit you thought you had settled. They stir up shit you didn't even know you had. You will learn about yourself, learn about life, learn about love by taking this child as your own. Is there something better?
Your insecurities are the best indicator of your capacity. They people who fuck up are the ones who assume they have it all together.
Selfishness is natural - I mean you will be living for this kid for while. So don't worry about it, in fact you will need to be selfish sometimes so that you take care of yourself.
Okay... go back to catching up.
Camping trip is about 2 hours away. I always listen to crazy music, so that won't be a problem. I've recovered from my week off. Got today, then it's camping weekend!