Why can't I ever sleep? I know people deal with sleeplessness way more serious than I have ever had, but it still makes my life not so fun. Things keep running through my mind..... that's what usually keeps me up. Neurotic thoughts about work, friends, life... I'll be on the verge of sleep and then some random thought will pass through my head and bam! I'm wide awake again. Or I'll wake up in the middle of the night think of the things I need to do at work and the same things happens.... I've larned over the past couple of years to get out of bed or at least read if I wake up and can't go back to sleep. At least then, I can get something accomplished when I should be sleeping.
Luckily, I can manage rather well on little sleep. I've had sleeping problems for as long as I can remember and have managed to do on little sleep. Many many years ago, I once stayed awake for 3 days. The only additive was caffeine. Very loopy after needless to say.
Things on my mind (in no particular order):
work.... always first and foremost on my mind... evaluation on Monday has me needlessly stressed
family.... half of my family is on a road trip and I'm a worrier... plus my sister is very pregnant and due very soon... both will be fine, I know but it doesn't help on sleepness nights
house.... too much stuff to do.... hopefully a lot of that will get done tomorrow weather permitting
dog.... Bella fell four times today... I know she's old and that she will eventually die... that is a fact of life.... but damn I love that dog
friends.... I miss my friends who live far away... I have always had more guy friends than girl friends but I now am having problems with one friend who thinks he can run my life... it's been becoming more and more bothersome over the past few weeks and today I finally told him we needed to not talk for a while.... there's a great quote from an old song "you can't even run your own life, I'll be damned if you run mine." The thing is before this nonsense we got along so well and I never like to have any kind of issues with anyone.... I'm a rather non-confrontational person by nature (life being too short and all that good stuff) but I really hate it when friendships go awry.... so I feel bad about that but also felt I had no other option....
money... isn't that a concern of everyone? I have my debt completely under control but it's more than I would like it to be..... the reason I'm in debt is a very good one, but I still always obsess about finances.... I saw what can happen to a woman when she gets divorced and has absolutely nothing.... granted I'm not married and I am the only one who controls my finances, but it still worries me....
I want to be in NC.... at least for a little while.... always renews me.
My church in NC.... well, not MY church....
other things that are honestly too personal for me to get into here.... yep, I'm a closed mouth one... but let's just say hopefully this worry will work itself out on July 30th...
Neurosies? Probably all of them are.... and there are good things about all of the above....
work... I like my job, love it sometimes and I am paid well for what I do so there goes the money worries.
family.... my family is awesome... period.
house.... hell, I should be thankful I have a house because not everyone does.... yeah, it's late and my heart is starting to bleed
dog.... I have the best dog in the world.... no matter if I have her for another month or another 5 years... I'm lucky she found me
friends.... those who live far away give me the chance to travel.... Germany will be on the next year's plan.... and again, the friends I have who aren't losing their mind as of late, are awesome....
Aren't I just Sally fucking Sunshine tonight? Yeah.... I can generally find a good spin on everything. Now that have this enormously long rant, maybe these things won't keep me up any longer...
Kisses....
Luckily, I can manage rather well on little sleep. I've had sleeping problems for as long as I can remember and have managed to do on little sleep. Many many years ago, I once stayed awake for 3 days. The only additive was caffeine. Very loopy after needless to say.
Things on my mind (in no particular order):
work.... always first and foremost on my mind... evaluation on Monday has me needlessly stressed
family.... half of my family is on a road trip and I'm a worrier... plus my sister is very pregnant and due very soon... both will be fine, I know but it doesn't help on sleepness nights
house.... too much stuff to do.... hopefully a lot of that will get done tomorrow weather permitting
dog.... Bella fell four times today... I know she's old and that she will eventually die... that is a fact of life.... but damn I love that dog
friends.... I miss my friends who live far away... I have always had more guy friends than girl friends but I now am having problems with one friend who thinks he can run my life... it's been becoming more and more bothersome over the past few weeks and today I finally told him we needed to not talk for a while.... there's a great quote from an old song "you can't even run your own life, I'll be damned if you run mine." The thing is before this nonsense we got along so well and I never like to have any kind of issues with anyone.... I'm a rather non-confrontational person by nature (life being too short and all that good stuff) but I really hate it when friendships go awry.... so I feel bad about that but also felt I had no other option....
money... isn't that a concern of everyone? I have my debt completely under control but it's more than I would like it to be..... the reason I'm in debt is a very good one, but I still always obsess about finances.... I saw what can happen to a woman when she gets divorced and has absolutely nothing.... granted I'm not married and I am the only one who controls my finances, but it still worries me....
I want to be in NC.... at least for a little while.... always renews me.
My church in NC.... well, not MY church....
other things that are honestly too personal for me to get into here.... yep, I'm a closed mouth one... but let's just say hopefully this worry will work itself out on July 30th...
Neurosies? Probably all of them are.... and there are good things about all of the above....
work... I like my job, love it sometimes and I am paid well for what I do so there goes the money worries.
family.... my family is awesome... period.
house.... hell, I should be thankful I have a house because not everyone does.... yeah, it's late and my heart is starting to bleed
dog.... I have the best dog in the world.... no matter if I have her for another month or another 5 years... I'm lucky she found me
friends.... those who live far away give me the chance to travel.... Germany will be on the next year's plan.... and again, the friends I have who aren't losing their mind as of late, are awesome....
Aren't I just Sally fucking Sunshine tonight? Yeah.... I can generally find a good spin on everything. Now that have this enormously long rant, maybe these things won't keep me up any longer...
Kisses....