serefina

I let myself fall vulnerable to a "boy" who could never handle a girl like me.
I'm not high maintenance, in fact i'm so laid back it's "effin" ridiculous.
I'm not hard to read, I lay it all out, you want it or you don't. Period.

If your mine then I want to...
touch you
tease you
ravage you
care for you
lock eyes with you a cross the room and give you that smile that says everything

and I want you to...
touch me, sneak up from behind and kiss my neck
tease me, get so close to me I can practically taste your lips and then walk away and make me chase you
ravage me, pull me away from the crowd and take me...just take me
care for me, hold me when its been a long day and let me confide in you
look for me across the room, lock eyes with me, and make me fall for you with just one look that says everything

I give so much of my feelings to this kid and he's just so oblivious. He's on and then off and I have to watch myself around him. He doesnt want a commitment anyways, but when he's "on" the way he looks at me makes me weak. I mean he fucken told his mom about me.
Back home, theirs NO WAY I would have put up with this bullshit. You like me or you don't, PERIOD.
He doesnt even really know me. He's never been with me in my element, or really asked me about my life. We had half the day to our selves today and he couldnt even appreciate it. It could have been an AMAZING day, and instead it was only mediocre. Looking back on it, it really destroys me that I let myself get to this point with some one who cant realize what they've got. Im not looking for a serious commitment by any means, but this kid needs to grow some balls and learn how to be a man. Men only from this day forward, im officially THOROUGHLY analying future/potential men in my life.

I'm in Israel, the possibilities are limitless and the men are weakeningly gorgeous. I get eye fucked atleast five times a day, and though its NOT always welcomed, it makes me realize that I dont need to be insecure and I dont need to let some fool ruin this for me. It had potential to be something....fun at the least...but he doesnt even know how to do that.

I just need to cry, and then i'm over it. I'm over it now really. Just, over it.