I always retreat to my SG blog whenever things are tough or I feel that I need to vent in some capacity. It's comforting just writing my thoughts down, safe in the knowledge that no one mentioned is on the site.
Things are tough at the moment, not so much in an unhappy way, far from it, I'm a rather happy chap at the moment, but things are difficult all the same.
I've been working a lot (things are somewhat hectic at work, unfortunately) so I've barely had any free time lately, and any free time I've had has been used for my freelance. Fortunately I'm about at the end of the busy work period (although freelance will continue to roll over) and lots of gigs are coming. Lamb of God, Machine Head, HIM, Trivium, Opeth, Steel Panther all booked, need to get tickets for Arch Enemy sorted out too.
However, I'm finding myself drawn into ever decreasing circles; I'm not lonely as such nor do I crave companionship, but I'm finding it increasingly hard to distance my emotional tie to my Austrian dream-girl. I thought it'd be easier once she moved back to Austria but the mixed messages continue; she's in my dreams occasionally (never in a sexual context though, always in a romantic one, if that makes sense).
Maybe it's because she fits every criteria I ever laid out for a girl, maybe it's because we get on so well... I just don't understand. Quite early into meeting her I expressed an interest in her, to which she insisted remaining friends was easier. The optimist in me assumes that was because she was returning to Austria a couple of months later, which almost certainly isn't the reason. Yet the mixed messages continue and I find myself torn between sitting on my hands or taking a punt on it. We're a LOT closer now than when I tested the water for her affections, we know each other pretty well, so as much as I already know the answer I'm torn between trying again or being sensible and waiting for the green light.
She's back in the country for 3 years in September, which is awesome news. But my dilemma remains. As I realised not long into meeting her (maybe 3-4 day trips together), I'd not felt quite so strongly about someone for a very long time (maybe since Lucy, who I was with at 18).
I'd declare "FUCK MY LIFE" at this point, but I'm in a succesful job, earning plenty of money, got lots of awesome friends and got awesome gigs lined up. Yet, she's the thing I want most. Yep, this is exactly how I imagined my life going xD
Things are tough at the moment, not so much in an unhappy way, far from it, I'm a rather happy chap at the moment, but things are difficult all the same.
I've been working a lot (things are somewhat hectic at work, unfortunately) so I've barely had any free time lately, and any free time I've had has been used for my freelance. Fortunately I'm about at the end of the busy work period (although freelance will continue to roll over) and lots of gigs are coming. Lamb of God, Machine Head, HIM, Trivium, Opeth, Steel Panther all booked, need to get tickets for Arch Enemy sorted out too.
However, I'm finding myself drawn into ever decreasing circles; I'm not lonely as such nor do I crave companionship, but I'm finding it increasingly hard to distance my emotional tie to my Austrian dream-girl. I thought it'd be easier once she moved back to Austria but the mixed messages continue; she's in my dreams occasionally (never in a sexual context though, always in a romantic one, if that makes sense).
Maybe it's because she fits every criteria I ever laid out for a girl, maybe it's because we get on so well... I just don't understand. Quite early into meeting her I expressed an interest in her, to which she insisted remaining friends was easier. The optimist in me assumes that was because she was returning to Austria a couple of months later, which almost certainly isn't the reason. Yet the mixed messages continue and I find myself torn between sitting on my hands or taking a punt on it. We're a LOT closer now than when I tested the water for her affections, we know each other pretty well, so as much as I already know the answer I'm torn between trying again or being sensible and waiting for the green light.
She's back in the country for 3 years in September, which is awesome news. But my dilemma remains. As I realised not long into meeting her (maybe 3-4 day trips together), I'd not felt quite so strongly about someone for a very long time (maybe since Lucy, who I was with at 18).
I'd declare "FUCK MY LIFE" at this point, but I'm in a succesful job, earning plenty of money, got lots of awesome friends and got awesome gigs lined up. Yet, she's the thing I want most. Yep, this is exactly how I imagined my life going xD