sentri

I wonder..

Can I just be sad without necessarily needing to explain or know all the reasons why? I assume it's a wall I built around myself. (Paraphrasing now) A wall whose bricks are made of analysis, whose mortar is made up of worry, and.. what's the third thing?

Bricks, mortar..

There is no third thing.

There are days when I'm tired of trying to be, and want only to be. It just seems like I'm destined to be isolated or sequestered on those days though. Nobody will necessarily come over and cheer me up, or give me a hug, or whatever. Maybe that's 'cause I've erred with the friendships that I've built. Maybe I just have crappy friends. Maybe I just need to get laid.

Well, whatever the case, I'm just sad. That's the way it is. I am sad, and I am lonely, and I'm not having the greatest day. Fuck all else.

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I'm not saying that I don't have reasons. In fact, quite the contrary. But it seems like there's always some sort of unspoken expectation to always be intellectually identifying the reasons and attempting to deal with them, when in fact, right now.. I just want to be sad. I don't want to figure anything out. I don't want an answer. I just want to be sad, and dare I say, taken care of.

Just a little..