Anybody out there know someone that never continued their education after high school, but always intended to? Eventually just stagnating and becoming complacent with whatever small lot of life they'd managed to acquire in their years? I'd assume that we all know some people to whom this has happened. Thing is, knowing the danger isn't always enough.
I've put off going to school for a year and a half now. Having dropped out of high school for a multitude of reasons that I really don't feel like going into, and then getting a job to help support my mother, it was very easy for me to forget about moving forward. She started moving around the country, and I was left to fend for myself, still completely unprepared to even survive with the wages and hours I was making. But I worked my ass off, got a raise, and it got to the point where I'd start to expect phone calls from her pertaining to being stuck somewhere in California and needing me to wire her cash for gas.
Thus it began. I couldn't go to school because I didn't have any money, and then I couldn't go to school because I couldn't save enough money. And at some point, I became so used to the idea of not being able to do it that it was the condition of my mind. School = impossible.
Succinctly put, I've been through a lot of heartache, depression, and near-impossible circumstances lately. I'm not trying to be special or unique or somehow trump and belittle somebody else's trials in life. I'm just saying.. it's been tough. I've found myself doing nothing but surviving as of late, and once I reflected on the past year and a half (as highlighted briefly above), I realized that I've sort-of felt this way for some time now. So, I gave myself the goal of getting back into school by August.
*Crosses fingers* I'm pretty damned close. Unfortunately, when I started this endeavor, I was working almost full time at a decent wage, which was just more than enough to survive on. In addition to my savings, and the possibility of financial aid, I was really hoping to be able to pull it off.
At this point, however, my hours have been cut drastically and my job will not exist three days from now. I'm registered as a student, but not yet registered for classes, which means that I'm not in any sort of financial trouble. Thing is.. I really don't want to wait any longer.
Truth be told, I have no fucking idea what the hell I want to do with my life. But it sure as hell isn't sitting in a room for eight hours playing intermediary between customers and a boss that's as undependable as some really undependable thing, followed by coming home and watching DVDs until I go to sleep. That is NOT life, and that is NOT what I am destined for.
And sometimes, knowing what you're NOT and what you DON'T want can be as good a place to start as actually knowing what you DO want.
So.. I intend to be registered for classes by close of business Monday. I am throwing my proverbial cap over the wall, leaving myself with no choice but to follow. Where the money will come from, I know not, but I'm sure as hell going to have some incentive to earn it, neh?
I've put off going to school for a year and a half now. Having dropped out of high school for a multitude of reasons that I really don't feel like going into, and then getting a job to help support my mother, it was very easy for me to forget about moving forward. She started moving around the country, and I was left to fend for myself, still completely unprepared to even survive with the wages and hours I was making. But I worked my ass off, got a raise, and it got to the point where I'd start to expect phone calls from her pertaining to being stuck somewhere in California and needing me to wire her cash for gas.
Thus it began. I couldn't go to school because I didn't have any money, and then I couldn't go to school because I couldn't save enough money. And at some point, I became so used to the idea of not being able to do it that it was the condition of my mind. School = impossible.
Succinctly put, I've been through a lot of heartache, depression, and near-impossible circumstances lately. I'm not trying to be special or unique or somehow trump and belittle somebody else's trials in life. I'm just saying.. it's been tough. I've found myself doing nothing but surviving as of late, and once I reflected on the past year and a half (as highlighted briefly above), I realized that I've sort-of felt this way for some time now. So, I gave myself the goal of getting back into school by August.
*Crosses fingers* I'm pretty damned close. Unfortunately, when I started this endeavor, I was working almost full time at a decent wage, which was just more than enough to survive on. In addition to my savings, and the possibility of financial aid, I was really hoping to be able to pull it off.
At this point, however, my hours have been cut drastically and my job will not exist three days from now. I'm registered as a student, but not yet registered for classes, which means that I'm not in any sort of financial trouble. Thing is.. I really don't want to wait any longer.
Truth be told, I have no fucking idea what the hell I want to do with my life. But it sure as hell isn't sitting in a room for eight hours playing intermediary between customers and a boss that's as undependable as some really undependable thing, followed by coming home and watching DVDs until I go to sleep. That is NOT life, and that is NOT what I am destined for.
And sometimes, knowing what you're NOT and what you DON'T want can be as good a place to start as actually knowing what you DO want.
So.. I intend to be registered for classes by close of business Monday. I am throwing my proverbial cap over the wall, leaving myself with no choice but to follow. Where the money will come from, I know not, but I'm sure as hell going to have some incentive to earn it, neh?
stolenhistories:
Go for it. If you're not happy and you think you see a way to make it better, do it. It'll help a lot.