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seniam

Chulak

Member Since 2006

Followers 43 Following 48

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Saturday Jul 08, 2006

Jul 7, 2006
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Well the weekend has finally arrived, and I am glad about that. I have three days to catch up on some new music ideas, and ideas that I have left sitting for a couple of months or so. I am thinking I will stay up most of tonight to get an early start, but we shall see what my body thinks of it. I get back pains a lot and they have been progressively getting worse. I know though that it has to due with me sleeping on the couch for the past month. The reason I have been doing this is because I can no longer stand sharing a room with someone. I am the type of person who likes to keep to themselves and needs their own space. I've had to spend most of my life sharing a room with my little brother, and for the past 5 months I've shared a room with my friend. I just can't take it any longer. It's not all that bad anymore though because he will be moving out at the end of this month I believe, and we will be getting another person to live here and we are going to rearrange the room situations, so I will have FINALLY have my own room. Of course, this will mean my rent will go up by 80 dollars, but I asked my manager for more hours today. I explained that this accident pretty much slashed a hole in my pockets and she understood, so I hope to have some money coming in soon.

Tonight was extremely odd though. Simply because my roomate, whom I am sharing the room with, completely opened up to me about his life for the first time ever. He was a bit drunk, but in all the years that I have known him, I have never seen him this way. He told me he wasn't happy with what he was doing with his life, where it was going, and how he was dealing with his problems (with drugs and drinking). He also told me some very personal things that I guess he has never told anyone. I can't mention what those are, but when he told them to me he broke down crying. I usually take most situations like these very serious, even if the person is under the influence of something. Sometimes they just need someone to talk to. So I listened and tried to give him some advice and all. He ended up going upstairs, and I went to go get my laundry from our friend's house. When I came back he was outside on the phone with his mom, and he was crying. So I just came inside and started to read some blogs on SG, and a few minutes later he came in. He told me he was sorry and that he needs help. He basically admitted to his drug/alcohol problem and told me he was going back to his mom's, but didn't know when he would come back. He then said that he needed to face his problems and fix his life. It was a little bit strange to me only because it happened at such a random time. I've had many of my friends open up about life and all, so I am kind of used to it. I like being able to help people though. My mom always tells me she worries because I am such a giving person. I guess she is afraid I'll give too much one day and not put my own feelings into consideration. The strange thing is that a lot of the time I feel I need to help people. And I just enjoy it because then I know that they will be able to be happier and look at the good things in life. Anyway, I hope he was as serious as he appeared to be when he told me all of this and left.

On a completely different note, I was thinking today about the book I kind of started to write a few years back. I was inspired a few weeks ago to edit the few paragraphs I started, but now it seems so dry again. I don't know what it is. I really would like to write this book, but I almost feel as though I don't know how I should write it. I have the whole idea in my head and I know exactly what I want to happen in the story, there is just some sort of wall that seems to be stopping me and I can't explain why it's doing so, or why it's even there. Maybe I just need to go back to it and start typing anything that comes to my head. If anyone is interested, the idea of the story is that it takes place inside the mind of a paranoid schizophrenic. That's all I really want to say right now, and yes I know this has probably been done countless times, but ever since I knew about schizophrenia I have just had this facination for it and the people who suffer from it. I don't know maybe I am just a crazy dreamer haha.

Wow well I guess I have written enough already right? Haha. It's been quite strange though. I have been reading some journal entries and they somehow connect with recent events in my life. I'm glad I started to use this site!

:-)
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
lilcupcake:
Hope you have a stellar weekend! Having a room to yourself is definitely something to look forward to smile
Jul 8, 2006
luci:
what kind of music do you play? black or death metal??
i also have friends that produce, mix and master...hell its LA if you have the cash you pretty much do anything you like!
Jul 10, 2006

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