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sen

Member Since 2004

Followers 15 Following 20

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Thursday Apr 22, 2004

Apr 21, 2004
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You're right, I should update this...

Well. She is in love with this boy. He is rigoddamndiculusly cute though. Man, what a cute boy he is. And he's vegan. She's working on becoming vegan. They go well together. Very well. And she's so happy.

I'm doing alright now. It's really hard for me when she talks about how good of a time she has with him, and she knows it. It just makes me feel like I am crap. But it is also helping me realize that I just need to get over wanting her to be more than friends, because I won't ever make her love me like that. Being that she is the first girl who has ever given me any sort of attention, I'm not so sure that I really fell in love with her anyway. I mean, it sure felt like love, but what do I know?

As a result of a sort of breakdown earlier this semester I am very behind in 2 of my classes. I have decided to fail them. As well as another one. I really just don't care about college. It isn't feeling like it is for me... the constant aloneness isn't very helpful either. Tomorrow I am going to see my advisor again to try to figure out what I shoud/want to do. He is very understanding. My mother has been too. College has been nothing but bad times for me, I don't fit the college lifestyle even a tiny bit. Half way through this semseter (My second semester) I finally spoke to one of the few people that seemed interesting to me. She is really, really cool, but she also has a lot of friends, and does a lot of things that I don't. I don't see her very often, and that's also depressing.

But I'm really doing fine right now. Less than 3 weeks and this year is over. I'll hav a horrid GPA this semester after my 3.4 last semester. But it doesn't bother me a bit. I really just don't care.

Chocolate week on the Food Network pwned me.

When I get home I think I am getting a kitten. I have wanted one for so long. But we have a dog and a cat already. And I really do love the cat we have now. She's really friendly and sweet, but she's also getting old. I don't want her to feel like she is being replaced, but kittens are soooo cute.

Goddamn SG Mag. I don't have the money to spend on this subscription that I just payed for.
karaokejihad:
i know what you're saying with the girl thing, it's almost exactly what happened to me a couple years back.
i was friends wth this girl in my school(music school, very small amount of students), and we were friends and hung out a lot. got stoned etc, then started hanging out like everyday, and pretty soon it was kind of awkward, sexual tension, plus going to school together made me scared to make any moves, so eventually we just didn't hang out anymore. frown whatever

i think the more things you do, the more people you know, the less time you have to be down.
like 311 said: don't stay home this time, no don't say no.

i hear you about the magazine, no money, what an impulse buy. blush

word.
and the first step to kicking your ramen habit is to admit you have a problem.
Apr 22, 2004

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