this is a amazing topic @missy and @rambo
Even tho I did this week's blog homework I had to do this topic <3
I found out about Suicide Girls in middle school (like almost a lot of us did) and ever since then I always wanted to do it. Of course back then I was under age and pretty shy so it was like a dream of mine. I remeber in junior year my friend and I always talking about it together and wanting to shoot sets together.
Forward to 18 year old me of course I was finally thinking of submitting a application to be a model but I was also dating my ex at the time so I spoke to him about it and all he said was "no cause you have to be skinny to be in it" and of course i was still a teen and hearing that come from someone I cared about really effected me. Slowly I wasn't allowed to dress how I wanted and it got to the point where I asked me for his opinions more than sticking to what I liked or wanted. It took a big part of my self esteem and ! didn't love myself at all to the point I started to self harm.
We lasted 3 years and that damage takes a lot out of the person, it took me a long time to be comfortable with myself again. Then I remembered about Suicide Girls and how much he was against it and how much I wanted it so I applied, next thing I know my old high school friend became my photographer and I was able to have this experience <3
2016 has been a big learning experience for me to be comfortable with myself.
What inspired me to be a hopeful was myself, to better myself and to be comfortable in my own skin
to learn how to love myself as a person <3 my first set comes in 3 months and I am proud of it
Until next time <3 thank you for reading
