selenakyle

So this ball is rolling...

Just since yesterday, or the day before that was when I called my childhood friend, and then yesterday I told my parents, and then today I turned in my subletting form to my landlord.

All these new pressures.

Friend thinks its really weird that I haven't communicated with him in anyway for 5 years and then ring up and then say I'm coming up. I can see where that might seem odd, but really he is the only person there that I know who is under the age of 40. And even then we probably wouldn't of stayed in contact as long as we did if our parents weren't friends. I might end up moving in with him and some other people. We have sort of clashy personalities so that should be...interesting.

I feel like a traitor for leaving so soon after my parents got here. I've seen my mother twice for the first time in 6 months, and now I'm going. I know she understands, I'm not happy here, and she wants me to go. But I still feel like somehow being able to see them anytime is important, even though I havn't properly lived with them for over 3 years. I know my dad is dissapointed.

And my boyfriend...my boyfriend in U.S. who I havn't seen for 5 months and am not going to see for at least another 7. He worries that the only reason that we are still together is that in Hobart I havn't been able to find any thing else I like so I cling to things I left back home, maybe he's right. I don't know. I do love him and I havn't been attracted to anyone since I left, but I can't say for sure that wont change.

I could of avoided this all by just staying were I am...but I have to grow up, move on, blah blah blah.

I'm always disapointing somebody anyway.


This all seems a little private to be on a webjournal thing. But for some reason I can't erase it.