It's official.. I'm a crazy obsessive bitch.
Get ready for a long rant here.... *deep breath*
OK, well, as you know I've not been feeling too great lately, both physically and emotionally. What with my low blood pressure playing up again and having blackouts all the time, and the problems that came up with the boy and me... I've not been feeling too great. Oh.. and I've started having fits again which hasn't happened since I was 12.
I've recently discovered that I can't actually live without him. I find myself getting so worked up if he doesn't answer my texts straight away or my phone calls. For example, last night I get out of work and get a text message saying he's gone to the cinema with our mate from his college and he'll ring me when he gets out. That's fine. But I get home, and 2 1/2 hours later, I haven't heard from him. I'm feeling pretty low anyway with a bad headache and bad day at work, so I try to ring him and it goes off the hook. So I text him and say ring me when u get this... half an hour later... still nothing.... couple more texts asking where he is cos i need to talk to him. When he finally decides to ring another half hour later saying he'd only just got out (although how many films are 4 hours long??) and tells me to trust him and stop getting paranoid about everything. Fair enough. But how the fuck do I change this?? I know I'm paranoid because I don't think I deserve him at all, and it scares me that because I get so obsessed over little things all the time that he gets so frustrated at me and will leave.
He's coming over in a few hours and is stopping the night, so is a good chance for me to apologise for being so psycotic(sp?) and we'll have a good chat.
Reading that back through makes me sound even more fucked up and I don't know what to do about it.... help??! maybe I should go see my doctor or a therapist or something... sort my head out....
I've taken a good long look in the mirror and I don't like what I see one little bit.
Get ready for a long rant here.... *deep breath*
OK, well, as you know I've not been feeling too great lately, both physically and emotionally. What with my low blood pressure playing up again and having blackouts all the time, and the problems that came up with the boy and me... I've not been feeling too great. Oh.. and I've started having fits again which hasn't happened since I was 12.
I've recently discovered that I can't actually live without him. I find myself getting so worked up if he doesn't answer my texts straight away or my phone calls. For example, last night I get out of work and get a text message saying he's gone to the cinema with our mate from his college and he'll ring me when he gets out. That's fine. But I get home, and 2 1/2 hours later, I haven't heard from him. I'm feeling pretty low anyway with a bad headache and bad day at work, so I try to ring him and it goes off the hook. So I text him and say ring me when u get this... half an hour later... still nothing.... couple more texts asking where he is cos i need to talk to him. When he finally decides to ring another half hour later saying he'd only just got out (although how many films are 4 hours long??) and tells me to trust him and stop getting paranoid about everything. Fair enough. But how the fuck do I change this?? I know I'm paranoid because I don't think I deserve him at all, and it scares me that because I get so obsessed over little things all the time that he gets so frustrated at me and will leave.
He's coming over in a few hours and is stopping the night, so is a good chance for me to apologise for being so psycotic(sp?) and we'll have a good chat.
Reading that back through makes me sound even more fucked up and I don't know what to do about it.... help??! maybe I should go see my doctor or a therapist or something... sort my head out....
I've taken a good long look in the mirror and I don't like what I see one little bit.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
dixy:
I think your great and believe me we all do that!! i am possesive... obsessive... paranoid... all those things, but think about it this way if you were all that bad he wouldn;t be with you would he... and i'm sure he doesn;t deserve you!! your a doll!! you gotta look in the mirror again and even tho you might not like what you see... you have to stare her down until you accept her... it's really tough but hey your great! you'll manage it xxx
jj_r0x0rz:
you just need to sort your head out a bit i think, i was like that at one point and it was really bad ....i for one at the time of me being like that actually went to the movies to spy on mine...