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About a year later…

Last January is kind of a blur, I had just moved to Boston from Cape Cod to seek my fame and fortune as a filmmaker, it was a shitty situation really. My fianc and I were basically kicked out of our apartment down there on account of not paying rent. Oops. I don’t blame her or myself but if she had not quit her job that summer and remained unemployed through that winter who knows. I’m sure I could have busted my hump at a few retail jobs to make ends meet for awhile, but honestly I was excited about moving into the city more opportunities for me as a filmmaker and all.

I moved in with friends and she moved in with her sister while we saved up to get a place in town. Then came “Street Players” in the course of an eighteen day film shoot everything went to shit, she had called me up about halfway through the shoot for money. Her car was about to be repossessed, so I handed over some of what was to be our “apartment money” to keep it on the road. A few days later it was money to get back and forth to her new job, again I helped out. Toward the end of January my fianc came over for dinner. I had made enough homemade linguini and clam sauce for and army that night it was awesome.

After dinner she pulled me aside and asked if she and I could be alone, so we headed up to my room at the time. It had been awhile since she and I had spent anytime together and any time we had spent together that month was not just the two of us, so needless to say I was excited. Well I was certain I was gonna get fucked I just didn’t know how well. My fianc had decided that we should call off the engagement and “take a break” from one another. She said it wasn’t another guy or anything like that; she just wanted to stop being a crutch or a burden for me financially. She had decided that money and security were more important than love, so after nine years I was left with nothing but utter chaos. In the course of an hour and fifteen minutes I had the rug pulled out from under me by the one person I thought I could count on.

I was really confused as you can imagine I hadn’t actually been dumped we were “taking a break” a phrase I didn’t really understand. To me this was a little to much like having your cake and eating it too. I figured she wanted me to get on my feet financially and then we would pick up where we left off, and I had hinted toward this on my birthday when she called to give me her best wishes. She shot this down, said something to the tune of when I was on my feet I could re-propose. That killed me; I had put a lot of thought into asking her to marry me the idea that she was just going to disregard it hurt me more then the “taking a break”. It wasn’t until my twenty-ninth birthday that I realized that the relationship I had spent nine years investing in was slipping through my fingers.

For the next six weeks I did everything I could to keep from loosing grip of this one true relationship, just trying to hold onto her. I did this the only way I could, I called her everyday or so, showing her I was trying telling her about the work I was doing the money I was making. Just trying to make her see I was working on making it work; making us work and it wasn’t until the end of March that I got a clear cut answer as to what was going happen between her and me.

Talking on the phone with her by this point was strained. She seemed very uninterested really seemed to rush me off the phone even seemed put out having to talk to me, many calls were cut short by American idol or having to talk to her sister. The morning of her birthday I called her at work and it was the same situation I got blown off for one reason or another so I called her back that afternoon and we got into a little argument on the phone.

Easter was right around the corner and I was left alone for the holiday for the first time ever really. She had always looked down her nose at my family for there life style she insulted my parents for not having money to get me to New York for the holiday, I in turn called her mother a cunt, accusing her of orchestrating the hole “take a break” situation. I also told her I was pissed that she wouldn’t return my calls and blew me off so often then she hit me with it she came right out and said the reason she was so distant on the phone and why she didn’t really want to see me is because she knew it was over between us and she didn’t want to hurt me, doesn’t get much clearer then that.

In April I met someone who helped me through the rest of the year. Have you guys ever met someone and you felt like you have always known them, well that’s what happened when I met Raedyn. You helped me more then you will ever know bella and my debt to you is eternal.

It was a tough year but you guys helped me through it and I really have to thank you for that. Things are much cooler now despite the fact that I’m still a financial wreck. I got a new girl who treats me better then I could have ever imagined, I have Starvin’ with Louis which continues to be a great joy to do, and I got the best friends anyone could ask for. Some of whom I met right her on this site.

Thank you SG


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