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secondbest

New York

Member Since 2003

Followers 28 Following 31

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Tuesday Jan 06, 2004

Jan 6, 2004
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The Legend of Bagel Girl, part 1.
So we begin many months ago I walked into the bagel place that I go to basically every day, and there was this vision of a girl who I had never seen before. Now it was close to closing and back then I typically went in much earlier, but not this day. So I look at her and have this feeling of shyness and almost fear, lets just call it strangely nervous. Even more simply a feeling that I have not had in a long time. So here I see standing before me this girl who has captured something in me. And I start to stare at her a bit but not by choice, and then I notice I am doing this so I have to keep stealing glances. So finally so disturbed I finish giving my order and leave. And I reflect and I begin to think, wow that girl is pretty, she must be from around here. Do I have a chance with this girl, no she must be too young. But what if she isnt as young as I think maybe shes just started college. Maybe she is about to go off. Thats a girl I could go to shows with. We would like the same things. That would be cool. AHH shes certainly got to have a boyfriend. Girls that cute always do. Some guy who is much more scene than myself. Some stereotypically emo kid. So the list of defeatist reasons grows and grows, but each time I go in and see her, the list for my talking to her grows as well.
When ever she makes my bagel it would taste so sweet and I was always so nervous giving my order and I think she knew it too Anyway
So every time I go in I say I am going to talk to her, but I am always too much of a pussy to do it. Im afraid Ill make things awkward, the last thing I want is to come in there and have her roll her eyes and say oh God here comes that freaky guy who has a crush on me.
So I say you know what I will just ask her name, no harm in that, and maybe be like hey do you like this band? So I go in and there is this kid working this her and they seem so happy flirting behind the counter together and I say to once again to myself. Oh well must be some guy she is into I dont have a chance
And so the events are this, go in a few days a week and see her always be on the verge of saying something but then leaving.

It gets so bad that over the summer I bring some folks from the Film Camp I taught at and show them her. And they all tell me to just talk to her, but I know the truth or at least I have made up the truth.
So at the end of the summer she disappears. . So then I say, she must have gone away to college.
And I know the people who work there, some are old friends or I just become friendly with the people who help me and I always want to just ask them about this girl, but I dont fearing it would be creepy or weird.
And I forget about her until one snowy day a week ago and I see her out of the blue and all that anxiety comes back. Shes not going to be around for long I think, shell be going back to school. I certainly have to say something now. How I have this stupid crush or how I wish I just knew her name. But I dont, and now every time I go in there shes not there. So Im with my sister and I confess to her this whole story and she says to me, her name, and that she knows who she is. And so my sister spills out her whole history to me and its just how I imagined it all. I invented this person and shes real.
So now I feel sad, but relieved. And yes she does have the typical emo boyfriend and I know I dont have a chance with her, but at least I wont make a fool of myself.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
siryn:
Hey, that e-mail you sent me about the films got sent to my junk mailbox, so I didn't notice it until now. It seems like you've got a lot to keep you busy, but don't get discouraged, I imagine that is a pretty competitive field. So are those people you sent me pictures of some of the people you work together with on your films?
Jan 8, 2004
rxqueen:
hahaha yeah. it was interesting to say the least smile

have a good weeeeeekend!
Jan 10, 2004

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