Been going to the gym the last few days. Still get scared every time. I hate my social anxiety. It prevents me from doing so much, and the things I do end up doing, I am freaking me out the whole time. I really want to keep up with this though.

Sometimes people smile at me and I am always so worried they are going to come over and try talking to me. Joe tells me I just need to wear headphones and no one will bother me but 1) that's not really true cause I was watching him lift the other day with his headphones in and some guy came up to him and just started trying to start a conversation. And 2) I need to find something to play the music off of first.

I'm also always scared people are judging me cause it takes me 20 min on the treadmill to walk a mile and I only really do cardio. I'm too scared to venture into the other parts of the gym and not know how to use the machines and people will think I'm an idiot. I know rationally that they are busy with their own things and don't give to shits about what I'm doing. But the anxiety just keeps whispering in my head. It tells me they are all thinking "Ew what is that fat girl doing here."

It could be worse though I guess. At least I've made it in there a few times.

And for your time, a pic of my kitten and my new tattoo which is a cover up.