seasan

i mean our relationship may not be perfect, but 98% of the time things are great. sometimes i wonder if i love him "too much" ya know. i dont even know if thats possible. like how can you love your husband "too much". but when it comes to him he is a bitter old man at times lol, and his ability to love is very limited. now i dont doubt his love for me, but like i said, its limited. while my emotional range may be 0-100, his is more like 0-50. 50 is his most. there was a time when i used to depend on him, making me happy. and yeah i realize that that is the wrong thing to do because i should be able to make myself happy. but the thing is, i love that grumpy old bitter man. is it wrong that i want to spend ALL my freaking time with him? its gotten better lately. during the week, he comes home from work, hops on the computer from the time he gets home then goes to bed. and intermittently he will come to the couch and snuggle with me and whatnot. i mean we talk the whole time. but sometimes i just want him to myself. even on the weekends i cant get that. i try to give him what he wants-which is space, and his gaming time and whatnot, and he gets that. is it wrong that i feel like im not getting an equal amount in return. ugh. im just rambling. this is bullshit. at this point im pretty sure im drudging
up shit that does not need to be drudged up