today is just not a good day. ive been crying, emotional, moody, and i slept really late. my ovaries and pelvis freaking hurt,
usually when i get like this. i start doubting about how my husband feels. my brain understands that he loves me-but good lord these freaking hormones make my heart feel like its breaking over nothing. ugh i hate this
caution: emotional hormone filled rant ahead. skip over if you wish
SPOILERS! (Click to view)i mean our relationship may not be perfect, but 98% of the time things are great. sometimes i wonder if i love him "too much" ya know. i dont even know if thats possible. like how can you love your husband "too much". but when it comes to him he is a bitter old man at times lol, and his ability to love is very limited. now i dont doubt his love for me, but like i said, its limited. while my emotional range may be 0-100, his is more like 0-50. 50 is his most. there was a time when i used to depend on him, making me happy. and yeah i realize that that is the wrong thing to do because i should be able to make myself happy. but the thing is, i love that grumpy old bitter man. is it wrong that i want to spend ALL my freaking time with him? its gotten better lately. during the week, he comes home from work, hops on the computer from the time he gets home then goes to bed. and intermittently he will come to the couch and snuggle with me and whatnot. i mean we talk the whole time. but sometimes i just want him to myself. even on the weekends i cant get that. i try to give him what he wants-which is space, and his gaming time and whatnot, and he gets that. is it wrong that i feel like im not getting an equal amount in return. ugh. im just rambling. this is bullshit. at this point im pretty sure im drudging
up shit that does not need to be drudged up
in other news. i made a different banner for my etsy store
i havent put anything in there yet, because yesterday was filled with procrastination and cleaning, but bookmark The Haute Dame <3
so right now im watching maury.. i love when these girls go on there and are like "i didnt cheat! the baby is his", and then they fail the lie detector test, THEN the baby is not his, and the girl acts all shocked. come on. if you cheat, own up to it. if you think the baby is not his, dont embarrass yourself on tv! lol
oh! well let me get back to The Haute Dame. today I plan on adding some jewelry and other little items 
like fans and whatnot trinkets and the like. maybe some actual clothing. we will see
oh! if you want to follow with the blog, then bookmark TheHauteDame on Blogspot
I'd love to start a website to sell my stuff.