aw gawd!!!
what a mind fuck.
one the one hand, i have (my older brother), who just got married to his girlfriend of five years, who are both (nearly) graduated from college(he a couple years ago, she hopefully this year), and who are waiting to have kids til they're financially stable.
on the other hand, you have (my twin brother), who ran away to NYC with a couple girls he knew, met a girl, dated for a year, got married, had a kid who is almost two, and are apparently almost both going mad from all the stress. major communication issues going on, lots of fights, both afraid of the possible future.
god.
i'm the only one who knows how bad it is for them right now, and i can't tell anyone. i promised i wouldn't, and they need to help themselves. if i sic the folks on them, even in good faith, it'll screw it up. they need to ask for help.
so all i can do is prod them into asking for help. and moving out to portland where they'll have a functional emotional support network, and not just (sister-in-law's) crazy parents who don't even like her.
it'll be better for the kid, and i can only try to convince them of that. their plans for school need to be derailed in the face of serious family dysfunction. school can wait until the kid is older and in school herself.
my twin brother got married too early, and they had kids way too soon. i saw it coming, but tht doesn't help the situation. nor does it help that i'm sitting here trying to prod them in the right direction, but that's all i can really do. point out what i think is the best course of action and hope they see it the same way.
what a mind fuck.
one the one hand, i have (my older brother), who just got married to his girlfriend of five years, who are both (nearly) graduated from college(he a couple years ago, she hopefully this year), and who are waiting to have kids til they're financially stable.
on the other hand, you have (my twin brother), who ran away to NYC with a couple girls he knew, met a girl, dated for a year, got married, had a kid who is almost two, and are apparently almost both going mad from all the stress. major communication issues going on, lots of fights, both afraid of the possible future.
god.
i'm the only one who knows how bad it is for them right now, and i can't tell anyone. i promised i wouldn't, and they need to help themselves. if i sic the folks on them, even in good faith, it'll screw it up. they need to ask for help.
so all i can do is prod them into asking for help. and moving out to portland where they'll have a functional emotional support network, and not just (sister-in-law's) crazy parents who don't even like her.
it'll be better for the kid, and i can only try to convince them of that. their plans for school need to be derailed in the face of serious family dysfunction. school can wait until the kid is older and in school herself.
my twin brother got married too early, and they had kids way too soon. i saw it coming, but tht doesn't help the situation. nor does it help that i'm sitting here trying to prod them in the right direction, but that's all i can really do. point out what i think is the best course of action and hope they see it the same way.