if this post does not make any sense tough 
I have a problem with trying to make everything prefect before people see it. and when i say prefect I mean prefect in my eyes. Which logically that is so wrong because my perception of prefection is different then other people. I go through about 20 to 25 poems or ideas a day. and after reading them or thinking them through in my head I come up to the conclusion that they are crap and toss them. same thing with my other art my drawings my wood carvings my life. I try so hard not to fail. i think besides being uterlly alone, that is my greatest fear is failing. That makes life really fun trying to always be good at everything I do.... scartch that I am good at almost everything I do. I just feel I am not good enough there is some driving force telling me that I need to be better that what I did is not good enough that it is not prefect therefore it will not do. I know who I am I know what I am capable of. for some reason it is not good enough for me though. ever get that feeling? If there is one thing I would tell people it is to follow your dreams never give up on them chase them down. playing it safe and being secure is full of crap. You need to follow your heart wherever it takes you. live life to the fullest believe in yourself if doors slam shut in your face there are always windows if the windows are locked there is always a sledge hammer, if there is no sledge hammer there is always a car to drive through the walls. what ever happens live your dreams. A friend of mine once told me that the only one that can make you feel bad about yourself is you! and that statement is so true.
I have a problem with trying to make everything prefect before people see it. and when i say prefect I mean prefect in my eyes. Which logically that is so wrong because my perception of prefection is different then other people. I go through about 20 to 25 poems or ideas a day. and after reading them or thinking them through in my head I come up to the conclusion that they are crap and toss them. same thing with my other art my drawings my wood carvings my life. I try so hard not to fail. i think besides being uterlly alone, that is my greatest fear is failing. That makes life really fun trying to always be good at everything I do.... scartch that I am good at almost everything I do. I just feel I am not good enough there is some driving force telling me that I need to be better that what I did is not good enough that it is not prefect therefore it will not do. I know who I am I know what I am capable of. for some reason it is not good enough for me though. ever get that feeling? If there is one thing I would tell people it is to follow your dreams never give up on them chase them down. playing it safe and being secure is full of crap. You need to follow your heart wherever it takes you. live life to the fullest believe in yourself if doors slam shut in your face there are always windows if the windows are locked there is always a sledge hammer, if there is no sledge hammer there is always a car to drive through the walls. what ever happens live your dreams. A friend of mine once told me that the only one that can make you feel bad about yourself is you! and that statement is so true.
If only my love life were more controllable.
have a lovely weekend! CC