scurvy

First of all, thanks for the birthday wishes. They are appreciated. Apparently we are supposed to get an ice storm tonight, so I won't be venturing to far from home. In the south, it doesn't take much as far as ice and snow goes to really fuck things up royal.

Secondly, I decided I needed to write in defense of one of my vices: Pabst Blue Ribbon! There was a PBR board on SG from before my time, but I read it and thought it was pretty damn funny. However, I get criticzed for drinking my brew of choice by both beer snobs (who think ordering something exotic makes them "special") and by those people who think I am trying to be "lowbrow trendy." Anyway, I want to clear a few things up about my preference for PBR:

1. I do not own nor have I ever owned a trucker hat. One glass at my picture will show you i am not one of those skinny emo boys who are in constant angst. If you are one of those emo-listening, trucker hat wearing rich fucks who want to go lowbrow, please drink something else. We have already fooled you into thinking Dixie Beer is a microbrew, so drink that, even though it is unflitered water from the Mississippi River that even PBR drinkers wouldn't touch. Those of us who actually drink PBR don't appreciate being affiliated with you dickheads.

2. I drink PBR for several reasons.

A. It is fucking cheap. I pay about $11.00 for a suitcase. This makes it cheaper than soda or water.

B. It tastes good for American beer. It is consistent, and I always know what I am getting.

C. As much as I enjoy beers from around the world, I don't want to have to do fucking homework in order to figure out what I want to drink. There is a time and a place for imports, but if I am at a show or a bar or hanging out with my boys, then PBR me FUCKING ASAP!

D. I can drink a lot of PBR, and I have NEVER had a hangover from it, including the day I drank 18 of them at Drive Invasion.

3. I happen to like beer in a can, especially if that can is 16 oz, cold, and filled with PBR.

4. Just to keep you from thinking I don't know beer from piss, you should you know that I brew beer at home in my spare time. I can tell you all you want to know about malt, hops, water, fermentation and all that bullshit. I have sampled over 300 different beers from breweries all over the world. And yet, I still drink PBR! Maybe because I grew up in the south and it was all around me, or maybe because at the end of the day, I am still white trash, but PBR is still my beer of choice.

5. Finally, I agree with The Rounders, who wrote about PBR in two songs, one of which I quote here: "I'm a do right papa lookin' for a hot mamma who can honky tonk all night long. I like to sit at the bar and drink PBR and listen to a country song." Indeed, boys! I do like all those things, sometimes too much!!!!!!!!!!

So to close, I like PBR. I don't care if you do or not. But if you're gonna drink this special brew, drink it cuz you fucking like it, not to be a hipster. If you don't like, I could give two shits, but leave those of us who do alone.

Wow, I am thirsty! Good thing I have PBR in the fridge!