So last time I updated I had turned 31. Now, 31, it's a bit rubbish isn't it, so far at 31 I have done some epic things, but I still miss L. We realised how important we were to each other when I was in Cali, and when I came back we got together, but we only had a month before she moved away, and every possible event, error, or element was determined to get in our way, and it succeeded. We hardly had any time together, and we broke up in September, and I will say it was a mutual decision. Yes, I admit it, I lied. I miss her like crazy, I still love her, and it won't go away. I've used the term love before, for Claire, which was love, but for another, but really, compared to this, that wasn't love, desire maybe, but this, this fucking hurts. It's hurts because we could have been something more than we were. We tried, but obstacles got in the way. Now, now she's started a new life 300 miles away, living the life she couldn't have down here, and I don't begrudge it, I'm so happy for her, but I just wish we could have had more time.
In other news, I got fired. I am now part of the unemployed, again. I also have been banned from Roller Derby practise by the doctor until I get my knee sorted. Oh' yeah, my knee, should explain that. It's fucked. I have to go and see a specialist because it's officially damaged, and in a really bad way.
So, from September everything has slowly gone down the toilet.
I've had some fun times, I got to hang out with friends I haven't seen in ages, which has been awesome, but, you know, sometimes you want to wake up wanted.
Sorry for the depressing entry, it's all got a bit too much lately.
I have my next mental health evaluation on the 17th, going to try and get to be seen by a specialist, I've been hallucinating again, and it's not been too much fun.
I will come back with a nice entry soon.