I ended a 7-year relationship back in October, and have been dealing with the fallout since, including the sale of a house and trying to arrange a new place to live. I have a lot of feelings about this, but the short version is: it's difficult and frightening but it was the right thing to do and I've never doubted that in the months since. I'm mentally and emotionally better than I've been in a very long time. I don't feel compelled to open up about it completely to the world because I don't feel like... I don't know, competing for sympathy with her on social media? I adore her and I want her to be happy and have good things, and I want her to have her support network. I don't begrudge her that, or her need to work through her emotions in such a public forum. I'm moving forward and she's still grieving. That said, the number of people who shared both of our lives that apparently don't have any interest in my emotional or mental well-being can be pretty frustrating. It feels pretty gross to complain about that openly, though... so I keep it to myself. I'm seriously considering locking down my Facebook account and learning to reconnect with the world again through a healthier lens.
I owe it to myself to write more, I think. This decision was made to allow myself to be the best version of me that I can be, and I think that version of me writes more consistently.
This is not the finest thing I've ever written, I'll grant you, and I'm not sure what its purpose is. Or who it's for. But if it matters to you and you're reading this, I'm doing well. I'm okay. It's hard and it hurts and sometimes I'm sad and other times I'm angry, but these are positive changes and for the first time in at least three years, I can see light at the end of the tunnel.
