So while I was at my mom’s house this weekend, after I did some yard work I went for a walk in the woods and I stayed there for quite a while just thinking to myself. Now I must point out that I’ve been doing really well at not thinking about negative things, but for some reason today, I just started thinking about past relationships and how they ended badly, I thought to myself “is it me? Am I the one that cause them to leave?”. I’ve had my heart broken so many times that, weather it was former friends or girlfriends (mostly girls) that I lost hope to be honest. I’ve had two irl girlfriends and I’ve tried online dating and it just never worked. Mostly because the girl was also talking to someone else. Now you would think that if you are interested in someone, that you would just talk to that person and see where it goes and if nothing happens, we’ll then back to the drawing board. I use to think it’s because I’m ugly and I don’t have a muscular body and I thought like that for the longest time. But as I’m sitting in the woods sorting through my thoughts, I told myself “Fuck it, there’s nothing wrong with my looks and if someone doesn’t like me because of my looks then that person is worth the time and if someone sincere enough about me than also not worth the time. Cause I love myself, I love who I am, I love how I look, I love that I can make my friends laugh and feel good. And I’m not trying to sound like I’m self centered or something like that, I just need to love myself more.
So in conclusion this is me
No muscles. Do I want to have a great body? Sure and I’m trying real hard to get in shape and take better care of myself.
But I still love me.
