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scorpio_

Member Since 2004

Followers 64 Following 33

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Friday Apr 23, 2004

Apr 23, 2004
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I'VE LOST 30 LBS!!! I'VE LOST 30 LBS!!!

I can't stop saying that over, and over, and over again in my head. I'm beginning to feel like Ellen DeGeneres in "Finding Nemo" where she's like

*14 Willoughby Way, Sidney* That's where I'm going. Want me to say it again? *14 Willoughby Way, Sidney*

Damn, that shit's funny. It's been over the course of a year that I've lost all of that weight, so I'm not depriving myself of anything, but it feels so great. I used to be a size 12, and yesterday I bought a pair of jeans that were a 7. A SIZE 7!!!!!! I could go to the grocery store and buy 6 bags of those 5lb potatoes, and that's how much weight I've gotten rid of. Whoa!! That would probably fill the cart. I'm so happy about that, I think it should send me floating into next week with smiles and giggles. smile

On a less than perfect note:

Do you ever say something that you wish you had never said? All of my life, I've been the one who was pushed around, belittled by both my friends and family, locked in the bathroom by my drunken father, and generally abused. My latest ex-boyfriend somehow tapped into that abusive side of me by saying some things to me that I don't think I'll ever forget. He said some things about me that I've been working my WHOLE LIFE to change, and now I don't feel as if I've made any progress on it. It's funny how things like that can stick with you, and rather than dealing with your own frustrations and self doubt, you take it out on someone else.

I have every right to be angry, I'm not doubting that, but where I stand corrected is that I have NO RIGHT to take out my pain and anguish on someone else. I know I should have dealt with that anger in a different way, and for that, I'm genuinely sorry. It's a little ironic how you can turn around and belittle yourself just as easily as others do it to you.

Well, I don't want to leave this journal on a sad note, so

I'VE LOST 30 LBS!!! I'VE LOST 30 LBS!!!

Or as the seagulls would say:

Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine

Later kids
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
october:
thank you biggrin maybe one day wink hehe. hope you had a good night last night and aren't too hung over today!

maybe next time i'm out i will do... i should probably just put an end to the whole thing to be honest but i don't think i have the will-power. i'll see how things go smile
Apr 24, 2004
october:
that sounds all too familiar - i'm sorry you had to go through that frown i think you're probably right, it might be time to say enough is enough. i'm going to take some time to try and clear my head and see how i feel. thanks for the advice...

you're so lovely kiss
Apr 24, 2004

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