So I had a very drunk guest at my table tonight. He wasn't drunk or belligerent, but very clearly heavily intoxicated.... He was in a party of five and he was the only wasted one. His wife, or woman had to have a great deal of red wine to drink because her teeth were really stained, but she was well behaved. I told my management about him and asked if I should cut him off, the new manager told me yes and that I should do it. I HATE doing this, and to make it worse, he was paying the bill. Eventually I had another manager tell him but much to my surprise when I took his credit card, his name was RICK JAMES! If I were he I would have said, "You cannot cut me off, I am Rick James Bitch!" But he didn't... so the night was less interesting. Overall it was slow and they held my tables for a VIP party, which never showed, so I made once again lousy money. But Rick was entertaining. He keep telling me how beautiful I am, which I wasn't tonight, and did that bit from "scent of a woman." It was kinda funny. 
I hated cutting people off, but most of the time they were cool if you found a way to do it on the sly.
I'm Rick James Bitch! Is fucking funny. I would totally pull that shit.