scootershitstorm

my ex bob tells me that i should go home and write down what's going on in my head, as i tend to build walls around myself and don't even know how to express my true feelings. that's a hard one to say the least. i get so caught up in things, the details, that i forget that i am even here. i forget to breath and say, this is life, you are sitting here now tapping at your crappy computer, and millions and starving and millions more are dying. thoughs and feelings are more arbaitary then the dmv. most things from time to time boil down to brain chemistry. i think i work best dealing with other peoples chrisis. it makes me forget the things i must do. most of the time i don't even know what i am doing. most of the time i feel as if i am drifting around in purgatory. nothing really has a point. there is no real beginning or end. no great goal to be achieved. no plan. more of the same. i laugh when i am nervous. i make jokes because truth be told, i am scared shitless. i do miss bob a great deal, but i understand why she left, and i don't hold it against her. i don't know what to do, i don't even know if there is any point in doing anything. like most poeple, i turn up the volume so loud that i can't hear anything and i forget what's important. (maybe it's just too painful) at this point however, i feel as if i've lost sight of what's important alltogether wheather the volume is loud or not and i'm not exactly sure how or even if i can figure out what exactly it is anymore. more of the same tomorrow, i'm sure, just try to fake it for one more day and cling to what you can.

ok. looks like no one is going to touch that one with a ten feet cattle prod, so here you go:
the smurfs