Our drummer was just provided a PDP X7 shell pack. I don't know very much about drums in general, but I can tell you first hand that they sound pretty freakin' fantastic.
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For the last couple of weeks I've had a very hard time getting up when my alarm goes off. I've been late to work more than a few days. The alarm will sound, I'll look at it, look at it again and it will be 30, 40, 60 minutes later. Today I looked at it at 4:45, then looked at it again at 11:30ish.
I didn't even call work to try to explain. What can I say? I know what the reason is. Pills. I still haven't taken them. And the longer I don't, the less sleep I get. That's part of it. And the less sleep I get, the more constantly tired I am, paired with caring less and less about even bothering with the nagging little things in life like schedules and jobs and money. Soon I'm showing up late, missing a day here and there, lying, making up excuses, taking sick days and not being sick.
Fucking things up again.
No, sleep and work aren't the only things that get thrown off. Just about everything does. Bills go unpaid, I forget engagements I had, or blow them off entirely. So many things. In fact, right now I can't think of a single thing that isn't effected in some real way.
And I still haven't started taking the pills again.
I don't understand. I'm a rational, critical person, able to critically examine myself and define subtlties. But there are some very basic things that just fucking dumbfound me.
I'm wandering off point.
So, I'm not going to sleep tonight, so that I will definitely be awake to go to work tomorrow. I'm just going to tell them that I slept through both alarms (both of which repeat for hours). I may tell them that it's related to a medical condition, but without elaborating it's going to reek of bullshit.
To be honest, it's getting bad again. I have the familliar urges and apathies bubbling up again. I want to retreat somewhere. I have plenty of willpower to resist, but the power is finite.
I have about an hour and a half until my alarm goes off. I'm going to watch some TV and wait.