Okay, so here's my day before I head off to bed.
I dunno if it was a good, or bad day.
This morning sucked, as I was woken up way to early.
Though my doctor actually seemed helpful today, a shocker.
But even so I was very upset for most of the day.
And even considered just up and leaving for home a few times..
I was late for math class.
I didn't need to be in photo.
I skipped art success.
I also got caught in a downpour and got soaked.
My car got towed.
I'm running out of clothes, and I now have no shoes.
I'm also $128 less than I should be.
The stress from all these things is starting to add up.
And I have enough stress from internal things.
But it's all part of life I guess.
I'm going to drop drawing and art success for more important things.
And I'm changing my major to english.
I'm not good at art; I am not an artist.
I can take pictures, so I'll stay in photo.
And I can argue.
And I can write.
So why not go to something that encompasses those things, right?
At least I had some nice conversations toward the end of the day; always cheers me up a bit.
And my mommy is visiting tomorrow.
With my sister.
And my dogs.
We may get me an apartment, I don't know yet though.
I'm leaning more toward a 'no' on that right now.
Who knows how I'll feel tomorrow though, as my moods are flighty.
Speaking of moods, I hate my meds (it relates in my mind..).
I can't think because of them.
Like, I'm stupid because of them.
I hate it.
Thinking was the one thing I could do amazingly.
Give me some complex problem that no one knew what to do about.
And I could come up with a solution, easy.
A good solution.
Now mine are sub-par.
And it's way too hard to come to the answers.
Even to simple questions my mother asks.
I find myself getting confused and angry.
And they usually result in a "I don't know" from me.
I just got an IM that made me smile.
You know who you are.
I'll end with that, and a song by Norma Jean:
We are smashed men, still moving. We've tried everything in the book.
no stranger to failure, death with a steady heartbeat.
Scratching into any surface it wants.
Joy and beauty rejected so many times.
A world of hurt, a heart of false hope.
While we thought we were learning how to live,
We have been learning how to die.
I should of know, we will be legends.
Our homes and dreams and our worst nightmares.
Our worst nightmares have now come true.
Tonight when this detain falls on men.
Driven by a instinct more powerful than life itself.
From horror to hope to devastation.
Overfed and concerned.
It came with taste and claw.
Oh, hated form of emotion.
You have become so obvious.
My friend, the fatal habit of being myself.
Okay, there's hope. Step down with all your friends.
I dunno if it was a good, or bad day.
This morning sucked, as I was woken up way to early.
Though my doctor actually seemed helpful today, a shocker.
But even so I was very upset for most of the day.
And even considered just up and leaving for home a few times..
I was late for math class.
I didn't need to be in photo.
I skipped art success.
I also got caught in a downpour and got soaked.
My car got towed.
I'm running out of clothes, and I now have no shoes.
I'm also $128 less than I should be.
The stress from all these things is starting to add up.
And I have enough stress from internal things.
But it's all part of life I guess.
I'm going to drop drawing and art success for more important things.
And I'm changing my major to english.
I'm not good at art; I am not an artist.
I can take pictures, so I'll stay in photo.
And I can argue.
And I can write.
So why not go to something that encompasses those things, right?
At least I had some nice conversations toward the end of the day; always cheers me up a bit.
And my mommy is visiting tomorrow.
With my sister.
And my dogs.
We may get me an apartment, I don't know yet though.
I'm leaning more toward a 'no' on that right now.
Who knows how I'll feel tomorrow though, as my moods are flighty.
Speaking of moods, I hate my meds (it relates in my mind..).
I can't think because of them.
Like, I'm stupid because of them.
I hate it.
Thinking was the one thing I could do amazingly.
Give me some complex problem that no one knew what to do about.
And I could come up with a solution, easy.
A good solution.
Now mine are sub-par.
And it's way too hard to come to the answers.
Even to simple questions my mother asks.
I find myself getting confused and angry.
And they usually result in a "I don't know" from me.
I just got an IM that made me smile.
You know who you are.
I'll end with that, and a song by Norma Jean:
We are smashed men, still moving. We've tried everything in the book.
no stranger to failure, death with a steady heartbeat.
Scratching into any surface it wants.
Joy and beauty rejected so many times.
A world of hurt, a heart of false hope.
While we thought we were learning how to live,
We have been learning how to die.
I should of know, we will be legends.
Our homes and dreams and our worst nightmares.
Our worst nightmares have now come true.
Tonight when this detain falls on men.
Driven by a instinct more powerful than life itself.
From horror to hope to devastation.
Overfed and concerned.
It came with taste and claw.
Oh, hated form of emotion.
You have become so obvious.
My friend, the fatal habit of being myself.
Okay, there's hope. Step down with all your friends.