schmelectra

so, i decided to stop drinking for a few weeks to see if my depression gets any better (fingers crossed), and the result has definately been a strange one. i have realized that all of the friends that i hang out with all of theml all they ever want to do is drink. and i guess i never really thought about it. but now that i am not drinking, i spend a lot of time at home. i don't even know what i can do at night in this town that doesn't involve alcohol.
The whole thing makes me really sad. i don't want to be stuck at home, but i don't want to drink either. and it's like i think that drinking is making me feel worse, but what about this isolation? that certainly isn't helping me out much...
speaking of isolated, i was hoping i was wrong about no one ever commenting in my journal no matter what i wrote.
no such luck.
i am tired of being depressed. god. how many times will say that in my lifetime. too many to count, i'm sure. i just hate feeling like no one really knows me or cares about me or cares to know me. none of my friends ever really want to talk about anything that means anything. i don't think its that they don't care, i think it's just easier this way. all i want is someone to talk to about how i feel, someone i don't have to schedule an appointment with.