schmelectra

i am sitting here, waiting for him to call. i am desparately trying not to freak out. i know he'll call. he always does. but at the same time, i can't help but be freaked out. i just don't really trust boys. fuck. i feel so crazy. i just want to sleep. sunshine dust kept me up all night last night, and i paid dearly for it today. i've got my second wind, but the longer i wait, the more upset i get
upset, upset, upset.


30 min later.
i'm not doing so well at the not freaking out thing.
god damn crazy. i just tried to call him and he didn't answer.
i why can't i stop thinking that i must have done somthing wrong, and that he musy not want to see me any more.
i fucking hate myself today.
i really really do.
i should just go to sleep, but i'm hungry and i really want to see him.
i don't know what to do.