scattershot

Please do this now I beg, duct tape my arms and legs throw me into the sea, Please save me please save me, Now watch the waves eat me, setting my cold heart free, you can't save me, can't save me now


Here are a few things I've learned in this depressing era of my life.

1.) I am not interesting. Though I may come off interesting here in my writing and my entries and stuff, in real life I am boring and quiet and shy. Reference: Jim Carey in Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind for more on this trait of mine.

2) My life is like a tv show and I am the star. Not in terms of I am the most important person but in terms of Im the only one thats always there. People come and people go very quickly they pass through. But they come through they have their moment and then they are gone and its just me again. Reference: Hugh Grant in About A Boy for more of this revelation of mine.

3) Nobody is forever. Nobody seems to last very long either in my life. Reference: #2 for more on this

4) The future is very dark and hazy right now. Although I never thought the band would go very far it was always there to hope upon and dream and work hard on. Now there is nothing exciting. No dream, no girl, no best friends, just school and a pile of good friends and aquaintences... and girls who don't find me interesting or exciting or even good looking

but I swear Im good looking... aren't I?

okay I can't think negatively. Nobody got anywhere by crying about it right.

So what if the band ditched me cuz I wrote about them here. It was a mistake on my part... but if they can't forgive my mistakes then fuck them they weren't very good friends to begin with now weren't they. I just wish I hadn't wasted 2 years of my life figuring these guys were my best friends.

So what if girls I know right now don't find me interesting or don't find to be "boyfriend material" I've still known girls who just wanted a one night stand... that was fun ... but distant. Maybe Im far too emotionally detatched to be someone's boyfriend ... or maybe Im too busy hanging around girls at college who still act like its high school.

So what if theres no dream right now. I just gotta find another one. I got adds up about being a vocalist looking for a new band. Im gonna focus on drawing and getting my online comic up and running.

Okay so there are regrets but regrets slow you down. No time to mourn the present when the future is barreling at you at full speed right.

Till Next,
Same Scatt Time, Same Scatt Channel.

Music: Ill Nino - Have You Ever Felt?
Mood: No time to let my mood catch up with me. I gotta keep ahead of it lest I find myself lying in bed just like brian wilson did.