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scattershot

Canada

Member Since 2003

Followers 46 Following 51

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Thursday Nov 11, 2004

Nov 11, 2004
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each persons life is like a TV show. On my show I am the star... I don't mean that in a confident or cocky way... I just mean that it isn't an ensamble cast like friends or frasier. Its just me. Sure guest stars appear every now and then from other shows but at the end of the episode its just me.

lately I've been feeling like an island. I may be the first man who is an island unto himself.

I saw about a boy today and a lot of hugh grants character rang true for me. But in his case where goes out and picks up women for entertainment... thats something I really couldn't do. Nor could I find myself invited to hot parties like he was.... so basically my life is worthless like his and I have no social life unlike him.

so ha-ha hahaha my life is worse than yours hugh grant.

.... sorry faithful scatter-ites... Im just feeling lonely today. But I had a busy interactive day .. just right now that its over Im just feeling alone.

That redheaded girl came up to me today punched me in the arm and said "You live with so-and-so.. NO WAY!!" with a big smile (Note: So and so is one of my housemates who only occasionally graces me with a conversation these days)

What Im wondering is how did my name come up in their conversation. I mean he didn't know I knew her and she didn't know I knew him obviously.

I also wonder how I can ask so-and-so without interrupting his busy schedule and not seeming to quote/unquote serious.

To put my attraction to this girl in perspective, think Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless mind and I am jim carey and she is whats her name.. in a way. Because Im as passive like that and she is more forward like that but she hasn't really hit on me or done anything forward except show me that little bit of attention that I instantly fall for ... like jim carey in eternal sunshine.

I came to a conclusion that this girl would find me boring since she is very fun and party and interesting and drink beer and do drugs and outgoing wheras I am very passive, don't party too much(anymore), dont do drugs too much (anymore) and am not very outgoing. We do however have the same musical interestes and make relatively the same style choices and we both kinda gaze at eachother in passing.

My hair is falling out like woah. Well not like woah but enough for me to go ... oh god oh god oh god.. This isn't entirely a new thing cuz its been a slow process of noticing a few hairs here and there (I know that they say you loose like 80 hairs a day.. but thats gotta be bullcrap) Lately I've noticed more and noticed more receeding spots when I get out of the shower. When my hair is dry it looks okay ... I know Im not getting it cut short EVER again... unless it gets too bad then Im just going all over bald.

Did I ever tell you that my hair was an important thing to me. Not so much in a vain way (There is vanity because it looks nice and makes me look good) But my hair became a symbol of who I am and who I was when I was in high school. I always had well styled hair and well colored hair and it was a good length all the time and it was full and thick.

My eyes burn too. I dunno what thats all about. My eye doctor is way far away though. Not to sure what to do about this. If it gets really bad I call the rents and get them to come get me.

Christmas vac. is commin soon ... I love christmas. For me (and I know this is trite) but Christmas is the only time of the year when I feel peaceful. Some days its like Im screaming at myself inside my head but around the Christmas time I just feel calm and at peace. The world is blanketed in snow and beautiful... there are lights shinning off the snow, the stars are more visible around my house and everyone is a little nicer and happier and the malls are decorated really well and everything is just .. well ... nice.

anyways I've bored you all enough

This is the island signing off.

music: Some japanese flute thing from Kill Bill soundtrack.
mood: lonely.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
faye:
Hey...I just emailed you something I thought you might be interested in reading. It's not that long, Ty gave it to me awhile ago...just so you know to look for it and that I'm not some crazy ass stalker.

kiss
Nov 12, 2004
gitsie:
yes funfettie!! mmmm best ever
Nov 13, 2004

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