scattershot

Man life is just one crushing defeat after the other until you just wish Flanders was dead.

whats up ya'll I just had a weird night of confidence boosting, kissing, drunken-ness, odd tv shows and old and new friends.

I mean here on SG even some people have really given me something to think about regarding my self-confidence and self-opinion. Yesterday an old friend from high school took me into a private area and told me (she was drunk and probably exageratting) that she thought I was an 11 out of 10. Wow ... she was trying to set me up with a friend of hers and was checking to see if I was interested and then it turned into her having a little crush on me back in the day .. but now shes seeing someone else and so I didn't allow her to persue anything she shouldn't have when she was drunk... gawd Im so noble.

as for the friend... well thats a weird situation. It got to a point where everything I said would make her angry... and its not like I had made up my mind in one night if I wanted to persue anything and so we ended up crashing on the same fold out bed thing and watching crazy tv shows like Rocky 3, the Dark Crystal and The Sopranos. It was fun and we turned the tv off and started talking and then she asked all these very forward questions and I tried to remain calm and charming through it all which I did cuz to my surprise she started to kiss me out of the blue and it was cool I ended up kissing her back and all was well until the next morning when all the sudden a cold shoulder kinda deal had hit.. like what happened at night didn't acctually happen... although I am also guilty of not acknowledging what had happened either. I kinda feel like the bad guy in this situatoin and I had a feeling that she might be balling her eyes out to her friend after I got on the bus to go this afternoon. I don't really know how to proceed with this. I don't even know if I am interested in her beyond friendship to be honest. but then I do find myself thinking about her a bit and caring what she thinks and all that.

So the bus ride was a long one... some gino gangsta mutha was sitting next to me with a shirt that said "Female body Inspector" (I hate shirts like that... so brutal and uninspired) I kept falling asleep and hitting him ... hahaha he didn't say anything.. I thought for a bit that him and his crew would beat the crap out of me after getting off the bus .. but that didn't happen. On the second bus ride back to my place there were a lot of mega hot girls I couldn't believe it. One of them I thought might have even been checking me out. I don't know what it is but lately I've been noticing it a lot more the way people look at me the way girls look at me. Its very flattering unless I have a booger or my fly is undone and I don't know it.

I dunno I guess that all for now faithful scatter-ites.

mood: I feel like the bad guy the way I handled things the other day but its too late for regret now isn't it
music: Thrice - The Melting Point of Wax