scattershot

Hey everyone, Im in the middle of a speaker battle with the people upstairs ... so I might as well sit here and vent for a while for your enjoyment.

... enjoy.

a little hardcore, metal, and punk vs. a dj, hip hop, and rap music. we will see what can go louder and who will give up. I will not..

... I've had too shitty a day today to give up.

Surprisingly the day started out really well. I woke up going I am the lead singer of Even When Empty .. I fucking rule. (lets take a step back) ... yesterday we had a band practise. A short one but at the end we stood outside and we were talking about everything that has been happening in the past little while. Local bands are digging us, local people are digging us. As jamie (who plays guitar had said) "We have a fan base out there.. we just have to find a way to go out there and get it" Plus this whole being a singer in a band thing is something that no one I know has ever tried before and I feel really special being able to do it. I feel blessed to be a part of this.. even if it doesn't really go anywhere.

Then I woke up today and I found an e-mail from an old buddy from high school. Wanting to get together smoke some pot drink some beer and hang out and have fun with other high school friends and such. Wow that was a surprise. This guy is one of my favorite people.

then it went downhill ... I wrote an exam hahah way downhill right. Well this exam might as well have been in ancient greek cuz I did not get it.

So I failed it. Then comes the "friends" from 2 journals ago. Upon entrance to the exam I didn't really go talk to them and they seemed to not care. I talked to some other friends and had great laughs talking about past WWE moments

..after the exam I went and talked ot one of those guys again and he was asking about shows my band was going to play in the summer and to keep him posted because he wanted to come out to them. Then one of the people in the other group calls me out on ignoring them...

..so like a gentleman I go over there and say sorry I didnt see you there.. which was true cuz I wasn't looking for them. I get over there and more of this treatment from them

..................................................... .............................................................

so Im standing there WHAT THE FUCK. this is the last time you guys will be able to see me until the next semester.. unless you make an effort to get out to where I live which it doesn't look like you care to. So I just walked away. I found an opening and I walked. I felt really bad about it, they didn't make an attempt to contact me about it either.

So I came back here to the rez and sorta stewed on it. I mean these people were my best friends for a pretty good amount of time.. we hung out outside of school, 2 of them even came to my show and they can't even acknowledge me or tell that something might be bothering me.

Just a few seconds ago one of them started talking to me via msn .. cuz I put an angry title on there. I questioned her about this whole thing and she avoided answering. Why can't I get a fucking straight answer.

... another friend of mine has managed to "Borrow" a video game of mine over the summer break.. terrific!

But the only really good part of my day came not a few hours ago. SG Germany bought a painting of mine. WOW. I never thought I'd acctually be a real artist one day. Well you get your wish and Im gonna start doing more work. I've been toying with the idea of painting abstract or realistic work based on songs I've written for the band. Maybe I'll work with that. I have a scanner now.. sort of so I can scan some drawings once I get that up and running. I'll have like my own little gallery here. hahaha, and of course hearing from an ultra-rad ultra-hot girl like Germany, well that is a bright point in a day any day.

Hey I don't hear annoying beats comming from my ceiling anymore .. looks like I won. Just in time too cuz Im outa things to say.

looks like As I lay Dying, Atreyu, Blindside et al, can beat whatever it was they were playing any day of the week.

so I'll sign off for now still stewing in a shitty ass mood.

I need to turn off for a few weeks. Or I need to be around people who won't send me mixed messages and toy with my head.

peace out.

music: Clarity in Chaos - Low Oxygen Atmosphere. (a friends band)
mood: I am not in the mood for a question like that.