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scattershot

Canada

Member Since 2003

Followers 46 Following 51

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Wednesday Apr 14, 2004

Apr 14, 2004
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This journal entry may not be funny. Those of you who came here for a laugh .. discrestion is advised.

Can someone please tell me what the fuck is wrong with me. Why is it that when friends don't talk to me I immediatley think its because they don't like me anymore.

but then in two days of interaction with a group of "close friends" I have been cold shouldered, shuddered, and what feels like discarded. I mean this people are my best friends that I have right now and I don't get any type of conversation with them anymore besides hello and hi. fuck I even fell for one of the girls in this group really hard and now its like she won't even look at me very much. WHAT THE FUCK. I feel like I did something that I don't know what and can't take it back because I don't know what it was. When I ask them if something is wrong they are just like no.. and then continue to look away from me and give me that ice cold shoulder.

today

Scattershot: Hey, how'd you find that test I thought it was really easy
Friend 1: Yeah me too.
Scattershot: So you did well?
friend 1: mmhmmm
................................................ ......

(dots equal a long pause of just standing around)

Scattershot: Here comes (friend2(girl I really really like)
Scattershot: How are you
friend2: ok
............................................... .......
Scattershot: you guys are really queit today? something up
Friend1 and 2: no
.......................................................
Scattershot: Hey (friend2) your boyfriend didn't like my CD (in sarcasm)
Friend2: Oh well to each their own
Scattershot: Riiiiiii iiight
................................................... ...
Scattershot: Are you guys waiting for anything?
Friend1: Just Friend 3
Scattershot: Okay then I'll see you guys later.
friend1 and 2: no response as I get up and leave.

am I just being paranoid? might it be exam time stress... but talking with a casual aquantence today made me feel like more of a friend then they did. It makes me sad and makes me not want to talk to them every again. I feel like they don't need me or want me anymore and Im being discarded.

in other news I played a few tracks on the straight screaming version of our cd and 4 out of 5 people absolutley loved it. the 5th was that girls boyfriend who said "it wasn't his thing... and he didn't like it very much" to each their own I suppose.

I need some cheering up.

music: Dillinger Escape Plan - Baby's first coffin
mood: I need some cheering up ... my best friends seem to be discarding me. I suppose this wouldn't be the first time though.

I just bought the raddest fucking atreyu hoodie in the world. I feel slightly better.
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
fenway:
i stopped making friends and being a loner due to the same situation
it got to the point where i was shunned for no reason, or the reason was so bizarre that i couldnt take the pettiness anymore
sorry to hear about your troubles..i think you and i would make a good one-two punch
have you heard that Muse song yet? its kinda weird...
Lisa
Apr 14, 2004
lil_billy_ben:
That's a bad feeling bro, you probably assume you did somthing wrong because you internalized a few too many scoldings as a child or when the mailman asked you to touch him where it feels good, you assumed that all men just want you for your body and now as an adult it makes you suspicous of your friends.

Hope you feel better.
Apr 14, 2004

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