scattershot

So Im back at the house "eagerly" awaiting tomorrow where I get the down talk from my mom about how Im unprepared to deal with life, and how I have to go out and get a job this very second or my world will come crashing down. I live in a house where nothing is good enough for one parent and as long as Im happy than thats good for the other parent. Sadly it has made my mind completley fucked up.

In the celestine prophecy they talk about that kinda deal. I was reading it today and was like holy shit this is talking about me exactly. For I am stuck in a control drama... either a "poor me" drama or an "aloofness" drama or a combination of the two. See my family or my past has fucked my mind up so much that I am derived of this energy that the book speaks of. So in order to get some I play a role when Im in contact with other people so they can give me some of their energy. The poor me and the aloof one both sound like things I do... and a lot of times I feel drained of any energy. But the book says in realization of your past and how it shapes you now you can step out of the control drama and find out who you really are. ...... funny how its just a fiction book and its making me think really deeply about myself.

... and today, not too long ago a girl I had a slight crush on very subtley told me that nothing will EVER happen between us. I was talking with her about my band and I said "band practise was so good today I had to change my shorts" and she said "thats way to much information, my guy friends are too comfortable around me, yourself included." So I got the hint and resumed our normal log of one of us mentioning a band and then we start talking about it.

But, practise today was so good I had to change my shorts. When we played through our set to practise for this show that we have no idea acctually when it is on our last song I went ape-shit and by the time we were finished I was sweating like a 2-dollar whore. But then the guys wrote a song that we ended up getting into an arguement over because a) I couldn't come up with melodies, harmonies, screams, growls for it, and it was frustrating the hell out of me b) Jamie thought it was a step backwards for him. c) everyone got tired of playing it. But we are keeping it I guess. After practise we went to tim hortons and started quoting the two ace venture movies really loudly and got funny looks from people muah

My eyebrow ring is gone, GONE!! and I don't know if I'll be bringing it back. I would have to go to a store and buy a new piece of jewlery since I fucked up the others. Oh well now with just my nose ring and black hair people will say I look like George Strombo.. (10 points if you know who that is)

and in closing I just want to tell everyone to go out and buy anything you can by Funeral for a Friend. and they have surprised me by appearing on a coheed and cambria concert that Im going to soon. I might just cream my pants when they play bullet theory, or red is the new black, or rookie of the year. IM GOING TO BUY A T-SHIRT!!!

and From Autumn to Ashes is comming too.. YAAAAY!! my favorite band.. or one of. Its so hard to pick a favorite and stick with that band. right now FATA and the used are deadlocked for 1st place in my book.

thats all I can think of now
till next same scatt time, same scatt channel.

music: Funeral for a friend: Escape artists never die.
Mood: Band practise was so good I had to change my shorts.