scattershot

So everyones life is going well and dandy and mine ... well mine has been treading water since I turned 18. I don't like the idea of being an adult cuz really Im just a frightened little child... jealousy is a childs emotion and thats all I can feel these days. that and desperation.

..... sorry I've been negative lately. There isn't much going on that is exciting in a good way.

so Mike (drummer in band) has snapped.. well hes gone into a serious depression and has been checked into a hospital and can't get out now without freakin out. Its not my business to get into detail about it but this does put the band in jeopardy which makes me sad and hes my friend too and having him like this also makes me sad. Hes helped me out when I was having problems with being a singer and hes taught me a lot .... it would be sad to see him out. But I can't quit this band is one of the only things that makes me really happy these days.

Im going for a surgery tomorrow too. Some doc I don't like is going to cut into the back of my head and remove some potentially cancerous moles. He doesn't even know if hes getting the right ones or not .... now thats boo-urns a neighbour of mine is also dying of cancer and that scares me a lot to see him the way he is. I mean this guy gave me my first job outside the house watching his dog while he was away on vacation. This truly is sad he has two kids younger than me but old enough to know whats going on very well and they are a good family.

This thing with this girl is really starting to get to me again. During my shroom trip-out thats all I could think of is what to do with this and how I can possibly deal its like I met the perfect girl who even thinks very highly of me but someone got there first and they seem to have laid their claim to eachother. Its like Im being teased ... like moses in the dessert.

So yesterday I saw the new Tomb Raider for the first time... gee isn't that a spectacular movie. if I want to gawk at angelina jolie I'll go watch gia which is also a cool movie.

looks like I'll finally get to see Silverstein and Brand New rescheduled their date in T.O. so maybe maybe I'll go see that too. YAY concerts they always cheer me up.

The ps2 is working out nicely. I enjoy blowing up cars to little peices in Twisted Metal and killing zombies in Resident Evil Code Veronica X and doing matrix style shit in Enter the Matrix. Anyone have any suggestions on ps2 games.. any pretty ladies wanna geek out with me on the ps2 games. hmm hmm... inticing no?


welp thats all for now I guess. Im in that mood where I need something big with a lot of people that I know to happen but if I got invited to something I probably wouldn't go citing that Im too tired.

Music: Worms of the Earth - Finch
Mood: Well I said Im tired didn't I. and lovelorn but thats nothing new for me. I am perpetually lovelorn.