scattershot

I want to blare my new from autumn to ashes cd and let everyone know how I feel,

I wanna sit and read the lyrics while listening to the songs and sing along at the top of my fucking lungs.

Im feeling much more odd then even.
I'd break in two over you
I just don't know how to communicate.

I love this band ... they say what I need to hear when Im in a bad mood.

hmmm Im not sure what to say really. Just the feeling of not being in the right place at the right time makes me feel very uneven here. I get the feeling a lot of people are judging me ... do they see the nerdy kid I used to be ... the part of me that was and still could be .. do they just see this short, kinda fat, kinda ugly really quiet kid and say he's not worth my time.

heres some good thoughts to think of. Miike, who drums in my band told me I was like one of the better 5% of people on the entire planet. That was cool. I said I wish I was a genius and he said dude your fucking close enough you're like the top 5% or something. That's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. Hes an awesome dude.
There's a girl here that wants to be my fuck buddy. Which is good. I don't want to have a relationship with her cuz we don't agree on much except that we both occasionally need some sex and we both can give it to eachother. The depressive part of me looks at this and says .. jeezus christ this is what I get just cheap lays all the time... I guess Im not good enough for a relationship. but then the regular part of me says "Wa-hoo casual sex!!!!!"

thats all for now kidos.

music: Spineshank: Beginning of the end
Mood: Confuzzeld.

till next
Same Scatt Time, Same Scatt Channell. (you know I say that all the time, but there is no regular time I update the journal)