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scatmonkey

Canada

Member Since 2004

Followers 3 Following 3

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Friday Jan 23, 2004

Jan 23, 2004
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I'm sitting at work attempting to look busy and not have to actually do any work. I haven't slept much this week, so I'm not really feeling up to it.

Yeah, that sounds like a good excuse as any. I'm lazy as fuck works too.

Applied for the SGCanada group like a week or so ago. No word. frown Hmm. Thought all I had to be to join that group was be from Canada. Curious.

-----

Browsing through old blogs yesterday I ran across that "When I become an Evil Overlord" thing. I'm bored, and since typing makes me look really busy, I figure I'll make up my own list.

*ahem*

1) Although a legion of trained monkey ninjas are not the most efficient army, they're still way cooler than a bunch of brainwashed dudes in the same style jumper.

2) I know I don't need a really big throne, a big flowy cape, or half nekkid women in fur bikinis draped over me, but dammit, if I'm gonna be a would-be world conqueror, I'm gonna look the part.

3) Assassination is more efficient than "fighting" my enemies. and generally speaking, probably cheaper. Especially if I use the monkeys.

4) My use of my "death ray" will come without warning. 'Cause evil post no notice.

5) Sleeping with a gun or knife under my pillow is pointless. I may sleep through the threat. I'll have to surround my self with a series of booby traps. Each more cunning than the last. The key to turn them off will be tied on a string on my penis. Not matter how tired I am from a day of trying to take over the world, someone yanking on my Jackson will wake me up plenty quick enough to activate my monkey ninjas.

6) I will eventually get over my obsession with the idea of "monkey ninjas".

7) I will use advisors only as I see fit. Killing the ones that kiss my ass. Again, with the death ray.

8) Remember, there is no such thing as "overkill".

9) I'm not gonna come up with some elaborate reason to answer the question "why, why would you do such a thing..." or whatever. "Because I can" will suffice.

10) One last thing; I want a freakin' rocket ship.

-----

..I'll edit this later when I come up with something actually interesting to write here... additionally, these kind of rambling rants go a long way to explain why the people in my "friends" list already knew me before SG, and therefore already understand that I'm "eccentric" not "crazy". Well, not "scary crazy" anyway. Doesn't help that I feel a little silly asking someone to be my "friend". "Silly" is not the right word. "Awkward" seems more appropriate.

UPDATED/EDIT: Well, it's freakin' cold out now. Stoopid snow. I'll smash you good!!!!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
beledi:
you can only be eccentric if you live in a cave... or so a friend of mine says anyway.

i don't mean to doubt your eccentricity, in fact, i embrace it. huzzah for eccentric folks.

and i prefer ninja mice.

wink
Jan 23, 2004
beledi:
how dare you steal the evil closet monkey???

and they shall overwhelm you in their sheer numbers.
Jan 23, 2004

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