scarywizard

Happy Holidays, everyone. Since everybody reading this probably wants gifts, and I'm too cheap to get anyone else gifts, I'll teach you a recipe, or like, a burger formula I just thought of and tested today. It's got meat in it. Sorry, vegetarians and vegans. :/ If you bug me enough, I'll teach you how to make a nice pasta salad.
Anyways, you'll need some shrimp, some bacon, some ground beef, an Everything Bagel (I don't know if that's a proper noun, but it is to me), some cheese, and some onions. All you really have to do is cook all the things that were once living, breathing beings - except for the onions and parts of the bagels, which were alive, but were too cool to breathe - and toast the bagel. You could cut up the onion, too, or you could just put the entire thing on the burger, but onions usually have skins unless you're super lazy and you buy skinned ones at the store, and take it from me: onion skin is not tasty.
Slap the bacon on the burger patty, and then some shrimp on top of the bacon when the burger's almost finished. Next, put the cheese on top of all the flesh, and turn off whatever you have the burger cooking on, and cover it because cheese is a pain in the ass and likes to take forever to melt otherwise. So anyways, once you're done melting the cheese and toasting the bagel, and hopefully cutting the onion, put the onions on top of the burger, and slap some Everything Bagel halves on them. Now, eat it.
Could I have saved your time by telling you to just put some shrimp on a burger with an Everything Bagel? Yes. Did I? No. Do I care? Sort of.
Anyways, Happy Holidays.