scarletlotussoul

I have NO secrets. In the sense, that I have nothing that I feel compelled to keep from others. I do have an illness. I have personality disorders, coupled with what they call "Spectrum Bi-polar", meaning, I have what APPEARS to be bi-polar, but doesn't fit into any technical classifications. I have spent many many days, weeks even in emergency, and then on the wonderfully sobering psychiatric unit with people who are also there because they need intervention, not just psychotherapy...People who have lost children, and can't cope, who lived nightmarish pasts that they can't manage to live beyond, who sat in a parking lot at 1 am with a hose connected to their tail pipe, and in through their driver's side window because there is no happiness, (people misunderstand mental illness...as if there was some sort of CHOICE). I struggle. I don't take medications because I want to, I take them because I have to. Because my brain doesn't properly regulate some chemicals. Not because I am going through something that I'll just "get over"...it takes a lot of work. And that's my darkness. And my light.
--Lotus--


I just found out today that someone that I was in the hospital with committed suicide... Wow. He has, had 3 kids. I can't imagine what his family is going through. I don't want to imagine what he went through to get to that place. Bob, may you find the peace in death that you never found in life, and may you be partying your ass off, because you've earned it.

--Lotus--