For 20 years of my life... I have been a success without impressing myself.
12 years of school always making honors... and graduating high school with an Honors Diploma.
One year of college on the Dean's List.
Being rejected from the National Honors Society (Fuck them anyway)
I have gone through my entire life as a technical success.
However, one must understand, that I am only a success in comparison to other people...
Given my natural abhoration for people, it's easily figured that such an honor is of no interest to me.
9:40 PM Central Time.
At this time. After almost 21 years of life, I smiled in a certain way today that I had never smiled before.
For this is the first time in life where I have been proud of a mental accomplishment so much that I've impressed myself.
After all of the work that I have put in over the past 3 years, it wasn't until now that I have felt actually living up to my potential.
They've given me the project, let me run with it... and I've created it. From nothing, I've used my acquired knowledge and created something from nothing. Especially impressive to myself, because I'm doing it with very little formal training, and a shit-ton of self-teaching, and I'm now able to create.
If this is all babble to you, because I'm sure it is, then long story short:
For the first time in my life, I'm genuinely proud of myself... and impressed with what I can do.
P.S. Chicago Bears still suck.
P.P.S. I dig Go Betty Go.
12 years of school always making honors... and graduating high school with an Honors Diploma.
One year of college on the Dean's List.
Being rejected from the National Honors Society (Fuck them anyway)
I have gone through my entire life as a technical success.
However, one must understand, that I am only a success in comparison to other people...
Given my natural abhoration for people, it's easily figured that such an honor is of no interest to me.
9:40 PM Central Time.
At this time. After almost 21 years of life, I smiled in a certain way today that I had never smiled before.
For this is the first time in life where I have been proud of a mental accomplishment so much that I've impressed myself.
After all of the work that I have put in over the past 3 years, it wasn't until now that I have felt actually living up to my potential.
They've given me the project, let me run with it... and I've created it. From nothing, I've used my acquired knowledge and created something from nothing. Especially impressive to myself, because I'm doing it with very little formal training, and a shit-ton of self-teaching, and I'm now able to create.
If this is all babble to you, because I'm sure it is, then long story short:
For the first time in my life, I'm genuinely proud of myself... and impressed with what I can do.
P.S. Chicago Bears still suck.
P.P.S. I dig Go Betty Go.
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but now that makes me odd one out and this new even with them not inviting me or even telling me their plans...
bah, shitty moods die hard.
and cuddle, cuddles would make me better.