scandalascious

I'm getting sad. My writing skills are back to basic, and my singing voice is not as good as it was a year ago, and that really depresses me. What in the hell happened? I think I'm starting to miss college (even though I despise Suffolk Community College for many reasons) and wish my family would have let me go to Purchase when I graduated high school. Sure, I like beauty school, and doing hair is fun, but I'm getting so bored. Plus, I'm stuck in the estrogen ocean where it's basically the same as being in junior high when all you talk about is hair, food, and boys.

I am amazed at how warped the girls I go to school with are when it comes to relationships. I can admit that when I was younger, I was stupid and made a lot of really stupid choices. I look back and I hate the person that I was. But these girls are sitting there and think it's insane that I'm not dating, don't really care, and aren't out being a whore. You know what? I woke up one day and decided that I want to respect myself in the morning. I refuse to be the girl that gets taken advantage of all the time.

Maybe that's why last night was bad. Yes, I was drunk, mostly to drown myself away from the people I was surrounded with, which was a stupid, stupid idea. And I've gotten to a point where I've outgrown almost everyone I hang out with, and I realize how ridiculously lonely I am. In my attempt to make myself better, am I actually getting worse? I've given up a lot of bad habits, but I don't know what else I can do, and I'm getting really frustrated.

Jesus Christ, I really am an emo kid, aren't I?