sbyrd

I just don't know what I'm doing here sometimes, Vermont that is. I dunno if its that I just don't fit in, or I've become so accustomed to Jersey, I'm not smart enough for these kids or what but I jus get the feeling that most people I know are wondering just what the fuck im doing here in Burlington, surrounded by all these UVM students. When I don't go to school or accomplish anything long term from being here. Now I'm not one to feel I have to prove myself to anyone or anything like that but it's just hard because I really can't argue. I'm a dishwasher/retail worker, I should be in school right now. (even thou i've fucked that up) I moved up here because 2 of my best friends attended UVM and I needed to be away from Jersey for a while, but it was foolish to think I wouldn't feel this way, alone. I don't know anyone other than who I'm introduced to, I don't make friends easily, I'm just naturally quiet, I don't like to cause a lot of attention, that's just not me. Now my 2 good friends (which I actually live with now) have girlfriends which I really don't have a problem with, both girls are great n im happy for them even though i feel like the timing sucked but that's me being selfish. It's hard to see things working out for me here, I'm depressed and I'm not happy with who I am.


-much love, Sbyrd