Well it seems that I have made a choice that will change things completly. I've decided to be on my own. I'm looking for a second job and am planning on moving out asap. I've given my husband so many chances to make things right. but I guess he feels that's the way things should be and if that's how he feels I can't change him so I had to make a choice. A choice that involves me being happy. I am sad that it couldn't work out but I had to do something for my sake. I feel myself slowly dying in this situation. It's gotten so bad that I sleep in my car and when he goes to work I can use the apartment. but things will be ok. I'm not gonna let this keep me down. One day it will be my turn and when that day comes I could put all this shit behind me. love you all. you all rock. 
I'm going through a similar thing myself at the moment....not much fun!
Take care