Forwarded emails usually bug the crap out of me.. mainly because most people use that as a loose form of "keeping in touch" thinking that, since they've emailed me something, written by someone else, that they thought was funny..... it MUST count as an actual conversation. Anyway..... this one came along this morning and it made me chuckle....wanted to share the giggle with you 
If men wrote in to Dear Abby:
"Dear Abby,
I've never written to you before, but I really need advice. I've suspected
for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...
phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out
with the girls a lot recently, and when I ask their names she always says,
"Just some friends from work, you don't know them."
I stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down
the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, it seems she has gotten
out of a car round the corner. Maybe she wasn't in a taxi?
Deep down I probably don't want to know the truth, but last night when she
went out I decided to really check on her. I parked my Harley next to the
garage and then hid behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street
when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley, that
I noticed that the valve covers on the engine were leaking a little oil.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?"
If men wrote in to Dear Abby:
"Dear Abby,
I've never written to you before, but I really need advice. I've suspected
for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...
phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out
with the girls a lot recently, and when I ask their names she always says,
"Just some friends from work, you don't know them."
I stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down
the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, it seems she has gotten
out of a car round the corner. Maybe she wasn't in a taxi?
Deep down I probably don't want to know the truth, but last night when she
went out I decided to really check on her. I parked my Harley next to the
garage and then hid behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street
when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley, that
I noticed that the valve covers on the engine were leaking a little oil.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?"
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
I think my other (older) brother then sent it to me two years after. He had just (finally) gotten on the net, so for about a year he was forwarding me stuff that made me think, "Welcome to 2001!"
I had that Henrietta Collins record on vinyl. No idea where it is right now. I should see if it's on iTunes. It probably is out of print or I'd have to scour the used bins to find it on CD.
"Cut it off, the whole thing! Wipe that shit off your mouth! Put it in an envelope, mail it to me, P.O Box..."