saturn1

& i've never felt that. no, i haven't. like...that. more please?
'...I could give you
The most delicious kisses on your face
You see I need you to be addicted to me
I am calm now in the corners of his mouth..,' {esthero}

sometimes you reach for someone's hand & you want to pull them close to you, but they seem so far away & you wonder if it's really worth it & then that someone does something or says something or both that makes you wonder why you considered it not being worth it at all. it is.


/start rant

i'm about to get type rude on my grandma. she won't take her lithium so she's going to be getting psychotic in about a week of she doesn't quit refusing. i mean what can we do, shove a pill down her throat 5 times a day? and every time she does then she begs to takes the pills when she's manic. i almost went off on her when she said she'd never wished she had kids, right in front of my mother. that's fucked up and i don't care who you are, even if you are my grandmother, that's my mom. that would onlt the tip of it all, though. the rest would be a small book. maybe a large book. but the woman is insisting on making shit hard for herself, she always has. that is why she is living with us in the first place. and we don't mind, she is family, we've really done more than most people would. we have no room in this house, no time, nothing, but we've found a way.

and she hit my cat. don't hit my cat, yo.

but anyways, i won't bite my tongue next time.

good lord if i am this way when i get old, put me in a nursing home. forget about me. i've made my request about getting old. if i do, i would like to be so senile that i'm happy about everything and oblivious to the shit. it happens, people get that way. i think its a good thing.

/end rant