saturn1

i completly lost a job because they wanted me to do a second interview tomorrow, after calling me an hour ago. when i said i could do it next week because it conflicted with my current work schedule they sounded really disappointed, and the HR manager told me that design manager would be really disappointed. then they thanked me for interest in the position. is it normal to expect to schedule an interview with only a day's notice? maybe i need to free up my mornings or something. that shit seems ridiculous to me but maybe i am just out of practice. either way, i'm bummed about it. i wanted that job. it's the closest i've come so far. oh well.

this week has been the shittiest week i've had in a long time. i have so much shit going on i don't know what to deal with first. wait i do know, i'd like to deal with my loser dad first. but that would fuck a lot of things up. so yeah, i don't know what to deal with first. first first first.

with the loss of the job propspect thing, i may be in michigan for a month to help my mum. i'm definitly coming back here. i like it a lot. it's just been rough.

my roommate and i went and picked blackberries yesterday on the side of the highway. i somehow managed to look like a hipster chick and i imagined all the minivans that were flying by to be families where the parents said 'look kids there's a hipster during the daytime! that's what they do when they're not at the bar drinking PBR and smoking and being whiney' hahahhahaaa
sometimes i get so stressed that i start making up make believe stories about everything around me and acting part of them. it's kind of neat to float around i wish it were possible to do that all the time. when the old story starts to suck, you just make up a new one!

and my roommate had a little girls bag that looked like a purse, he was carrying the purse and it was full of berries. and i looked like eva gabore in the country. it made everything ok even if only for a couple hours.