you talk too much. i think too much. usually a good combination, if you don't care about hearing the other person. but some days, some days i just want to tell you to shut the fuck up. i don't care about what you're doing next weekend, or why you're doing something else next fall or about how you can't sleep at night and you think it's because of your diet. sometimes i wish when you opened your mouth, it was something that really mattered. this constant babbling is like a reoccurring nightmare. but i've been noticing more and more how no one really says much that matters. including me, and it drives me crazy.
nevermind. i guess it all matters. if you equate the need to be loved and taken care of in it all. we just wanna be heard. we just want someone to think something about us is important. no real need for validation, but it does look like that, doesn't it? the older you get the more you realize you don't want to die alone.
when i was 18 i felt old. 10 years later i feel much younger but less romantic about things. what's worse?
maybe everyone else is feeling the same way? i've been getting calls from the most random people. people i haven't talked to in 5+ years. 4 people last week, one friendster message and after wondering out loud to my mom at a restaurant about one friend who i hadn't seen in years, she shows up in the restaurant for take-out. we didn't even grow up in that particular town. strange. the universe is on some crazy 'ok now i'm giving back' shit.
and now seattle? what am i gonna do in seattle? on one hand it's really frightening and on the other hand ... it's kind of exciting. no one knows me there, save 4 people. i don't know anyone else. it's kind of like being reborn minus baby jesus.
and i'll get to decorate . and stencil up the town. and make people i miss a lot come visit me. i hate leaving my mom, though.
what a strange, strange world. i love it.
nevermind. i guess it all matters. if you equate the need to be loved and taken care of in it all. we just wanna be heard. we just want someone to think something about us is important. no real need for validation, but it does look like that, doesn't it? the older you get the more you realize you don't want to die alone.
when i was 18 i felt old. 10 years later i feel much younger but less romantic about things. what's worse?
maybe everyone else is feeling the same way? i've been getting calls from the most random people. people i haven't talked to in 5+ years. 4 people last week, one friendster message and after wondering out loud to my mom at a restaurant about one friend who i hadn't seen in years, she shows up in the restaurant for take-out. we didn't even grow up in that particular town. strange. the universe is on some crazy 'ok now i'm giving back' shit.
and now seattle? what am i gonna do in seattle? on one hand it's really frightening and on the other hand ... it's kind of exciting. no one knows me there, save 4 people. i don't know anyone else. it's kind of like being reborn minus baby jesus.
and i'll get to decorate . and stencil up the town. and make people i miss a lot come visit me. i hate leaving my mom, though.
what a strange, strange world. i love it.
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
yours?
paris was quick. too fast but it didn't prevent some late-night champagne with pass-out, and a great great LCD show in a smaller place, packed to the gills, and me speaking french for an hour straight with a woman who basically spoke no english. it was cool, now berlin, snow, and I don't know what's going to happen now.