why i hate dating reason number one : i'm not in it for mating.
there's this boy i've been trying to make myself like, but i should know better than that. either i like you when i first meet you or i don't. my intuition has always been a good judge of character and/or if there's ever going to be any sort of chemistry, and for some stupid reason i always try to ignore it. the boy is neat, he's getting his phd in physics and he's into a lot of other cool things, he's filipino and attractive... i should like him. but it's just not there.
so, regardless i can still build a friendship with him, right? WRONG. people's expectations of others are just way too fucking high sometimes; i should know i tend to do it to others myself. but you know what? when you barely know someone & everything is under the auspices of 'getting to know each other' please do not fucking expect a lot of time out of me!! furthermore, don't send me weird emails about how i'm failing in my actions by not keeping in touch every few days or whatever.
blah.
i've done something nasty to my tailbone and it's probably just a bruise but for the past week i've just wanted to lay down. on top of that i'm sick with a cold, trying to deal with the whole ex-boyfriend/weirdness thing, school and freelance work. yes, i'm lonely, but for people i know and feel comfortable with - not anyone new because that just inevitably makes me feel lonlier.
so, when i get an email after not talking for a week or so and it's all about making me feel guilty and not even asking if i'm doing ok, well, it makes me like boy even less.
i think before i may have done this very thing to people. i think it has something to do with wanting to be wanted and the idea that you meet someone, commit and one day get married. i just can't get into that shit anymore. i still have the urge to find a partner that shares a mutal want/need thing with me; i think some of that is human & ok, but i can't understand this placing-silly-expectations-on-people-you-barely-know thing anymore. it's maddening to me at this point. i think it's part of some set of rules in the mating process that i don't care to be a part of anymore.
and i suppose i have people in my life that i dig a lot more, care about more and want to be around more.
i don't know. my bum hurts.
there's this boy i've been trying to make myself like, but i should know better than that. either i like you when i first meet you or i don't. my intuition has always been a good judge of character and/or if there's ever going to be any sort of chemistry, and for some stupid reason i always try to ignore it. the boy is neat, he's getting his phd in physics and he's into a lot of other cool things, he's filipino and attractive... i should like him. but it's just not there.
so, regardless i can still build a friendship with him, right? WRONG. people's expectations of others are just way too fucking high sometimes; i should know i tend to do it to others myself. but you know what? when you barely know someone & everything is under the auspices of 'getting to know each other' please do not fucking expect a lot of time out of me!! furthermore, don't send me weird emails about how i'm failing in my actions by not keeping in touch every few days or whatever.
blah.
i've done something nasty to my tailbone and it's probably just a bruise but for the past week i've just wanted to lay down. on top of that i'm sick with a cold, trying to deal with the whole ex-boyfriend/weirdness thing, school and freelance work. yes, i'm lonely, but for people i know and feel comfortable with - not anyone new because that just inevitably makes me feel lonlier.
so, when i get an email after not talking for a week or so and it's all about making me feel guilty and not even asking if i'm doing ok, well, it makes me like boy even less.
i think before i may have done this very thing to people. i think it has something to do with wanting to be wanted and the idea that you meet someone, commit and one day get married. i just can't get into that shit anymore. i still have the urge to find a partner that shares a mutal want/need thing with me; i think some of that is human & ok, but i can't understand this placing-silly-expectations-on-people-you-barely-know thing anymore. it's maddening to me at this point. i think it's part of some set of rules in the mating process that i don't care to be a part of anymore.
and i suppose i have people in my life that i dig a lot more, care about more and want to be around more.
i don't know. my bum hurts.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
amen, sista!
tell it!
testify!!
no time for relationships, just get some good friends and masterbate ALOT.
well, i suggest you go to the doctor and get som vicodin for the pain and let yourself heal. that will be best. and stop the freelance work if it is too much! damn! your worse than me!