saturn1

~ devils speak of the ways in which she'll manifest ~

aiight. so i am taking pics this weekend. i've been stalling and totally flaking on the set thing, and more so after i filled out the form and heard back and all that.

i had a an ephinany. my body has never been mine. my first experience was rape by a guy that was at that time, erm, my boyfriend. i think after that i've felt rather detached from it. not in a totally bad way, but more like it's something to use rather than to contain what is me. i've worked my ass off on dealing with all my issues and hang-ups and such...for the past few years. it's been a huge transformationl. and part of that includes not feeling ugly or needing validation, and feeling comfortable with what my shell is.

so now this thing with doing a set i guess feels like shedding my old skin. i feel like it's something that i have a choice in. and if i expained my theory in that or why feel that way this entry would be way too long. but it just is that way.

my friend is taking them. i lub her.

anyways....

'....i am so impure.'

NIN lyrics seem to attack my brain when i'm tired.